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Geek Culture / All game designers should read this and be tested on it before being allowed to design commercial games :-)

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Jeku
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Posted: 31st May 2005 02:40
A very interesting and thought provoking list of the top 20 things wrong with today's games that, by all reasonable hope, should not be allowed in future titles.

Problem is, gamers buy up bad games in droves, encouraging designers to release more crud. This is outlined in great depth in the article below.

** Warning ** Article has swearing.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/manifesto.html

This should be taught and discussed in all game design colleges.


--[R.O.B.O.I. and FireTris Coming Soon]--
Raven
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Posted: 31st May 2005 02:51
I laughed so hard reading it. So very true, but still the sub-comments are damn amusing. heh

To be fair though, gamers are buying this stuff. If they want innovation then stop pissing all over the titles that breed it.

Honestly, when I develop a game.. I want to know that I'll make enough cash to make rent and put food on the table. Innovative games don't really bring in that kind of money unless your some legendary name.

Even then as Peter Molyneux(sp?) has found out, no matter how much of a game god you are; doesn't mean you can't be touched by poor sales (well in a comparitive terms against the best selling games).

Every game that really pushes the industry forward has been sorely overlooked in recent years because gamers have changed. It's not longer people like you or me who's purchasing guide the industry, we just work in it.

There is no room for creativity anymore, it's all about the buck at the end. Gamers can bitch all they want about it, but until they change thier purchasing habits developers can't have thier hands untied and your not going to find much in the way of unique new titles for the major formats.

Remember, most developers now aren't thier own bosses. You can pitch the idea, but the publisher has a very real hand in the direction of a project. If it looks like it's going to be unique, your often told to scale back or something.. make it more 'marketable'. Most developers nowadays don't have the pure freedom that guys like Valve or id Software have.

And what do they do with their freedom? They create generically identical new evolutions of thier previous games. How ironic!

David R
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Posted: 31st May 2005 03:18
I believe this article shows exactly what is wrong in the gaming world - the audience.

All our games are aimed solely (mainly at least) at one audience, and one audience only: Young boys from 11-18 years old, with sci-fi and fantasy themes.

That's it. There's nothing else (hardly) at all. And pretty soon, this enetertainment medium will become stale and extinct, because no-one can be bothered to make anything for anyone else. No-one is trying anymore.

Walking into a PC-games shop, there'd probably be about 1 title I'd consider buying, out of the possibly 300 titles availible; there all basically duplicates of each other on an interactive level - no-ones adding anything new. I've become so bored with todays games, I've haven't bought one in the last 2-3 years (the last game I played which felt truly 'fresh' was Black & White)

[url=www.lightningstudios.co.uk][/url]
Ian T
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Posted: 31st May 2005 03:23
That was actually pretty damn good . Cheers!

Ace Of Spades
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Posted: 31st May 2005 03:30
Sounds like he has some issues...


Im only "Apolloed" In Spirit
Van B
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Posted: 31st May 2005 03:40
Hehe, he does'nt want much - like FPS's that have jumping but absolutely no puzzles involving jumping!

I liked the Halo2 article, that John guy must be nuts.


Van-B

Megaton Cat
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Posted: 31st May 2005 05:21
Quote: "One, there's more and more focus on multiplayer for this sort of game. This takes some of the pressure off programmers because in multiplayer, other humans supply their own A.I. Even the ones who are complete morons. "




It's M-E-G-A-T-O-N. NOT MEGATRON.
DON'T MAKE ME GET THE RABBIT.
Dark Flame
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Posted: 31st May 2005 09:08 Edited at: 31st May 2005 09:11
I laughed my socks off at this part...Lmao

Quote: "The first time we hear the word "patch" in relation to a PS3 or XBox 360 game, we're taking the console back to the store. Filled with our sh*t."


Was a good artical though!

Eric T
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Posted: 31st May 2005 09:17
Very good article. Pretty funny too. I liked the parts about "exclusive screenshots".

http://blog.myspace.com/erict
An Alternative to Mouse's blog. Now with more lowbrow opinions.
The admiral
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Posted: 31st May 2005 09:48
Yeah also a lot more focus on working to complete games not just belt them out by the release date would help a lot of problems.

The admiral
Megaton Cat
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Posted: 31st May 2005 09:52 Edited at: 31st May 2005 09:56
If you liked that one, also read this one.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/halo2.html

NOTE* Contains *huge* amounts of profanity, sexual content of a twisted nature, references to racism, violence and anti-social behaviour, might be abit too funny for some people.

No really. Holy cra*.

EDIT:
Quote: "Star Wars wouldn't have made sh*t if it had been called Star Negotiations." "




Quote: "
"They're aliens," says John in annoyance. "Look at them! You tellin' me that thing ain't evil? Look at its legs! And his head. That ain't no human head. Look at how the skull is shaped so it's always scowling. That's evolution at work, baby. They been scowling so long their babies are born scowling." "


I'm sorry I just can't get enough of this article.

It's M-E-G-A-T-O-N. NOT MEGATRON.
DON'T MAKE ME GET THE RABBIT.
Dark Flame
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Posted: 31st May 2005 10:45
http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/swflash.html

This one is not for little kiddies..its about star wars and i was dying with laughter!

GICO
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Posted: 25th Jun 2005 12:19
Wahaahahahaha! couldnt stop laughing!
Quote: "Imagine if your word processing program did this, refusing to let you save your progress until you typed six more paragraphs. Or, made you retype your last paragraph six times while zombies tried to shoot your cursor..."


but my humor is sick so..

GICO

Give food, give give!!!
Briere
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Posted: 25th Jun 2005 13:20
rofl thats such a good article. You made my day

Formerly The Fixxer
http://www.xiemsoft.cjb.net
Jimmy
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Posted: 25th Jun 2005 15:44
glad this thread isn't a month old

congratulations on succesfully averting disaster.

Eric T
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Posted: 25th Jun 2005 16:50
Well jimmy, since it was in teh newsletter, it has special qualities

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS!!
http://blog.myspace.com/erict An Alternative to Mouse's blog. Now with more lowbrow opinions.
Rob K
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Posted: 25th Jun 2005 18:41
Quote: "A very interesting and thought provoking list of the top 20 things wrong with today's games that, by all reasonable hope, should not be allowed in future titles.

Problem is, gamers buy up bad games in droves, encouraging designers to release more crud. This is outlined in great depth in the article below.
"


Unfortunately the article is really just a banal rant. There are some valid points in its murky depths, but it misses a huge point about the game industry.

The game industry is a business just as all industries are. If terrible games like Enter The Matrix can sell millions of copies, then developers will continue to produce them. The amount of time needed to get highly convincing AI doesn't pay off for many companies. I'm sure it could be better in many games, but there are deadlines that have to be met. Sports titles continue to sell well, even when they are identical to last year's version. So they will continue to be produced.


BlueGUI Windows Plugin
UnderLord
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 02:26
Quote: "I like to think that some day the businesses of the world will wake up and realize they're part of a greater whole, that the energy devoted to cannabalistic infighting means ultimate doom for all. The leaders of the great religions of the world will realize that all of us, Muslim, Christian, Jew, all want the same for humanity. Women will realize it's the pale, studious type they want instead of the quarterback of the football team, and everywhere we walk, bunnies will dance a path for us. Dance, little guys! Dance!"


Omg that was a great and funny article....hahaha =)

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
David T
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 03:32 Edited at: 26th Jun 2005 03:34
A very interesting artice. His ideas for game genres are quite cool, its hard to think of unusal games on your own. I might make a game using one of them

Also - I've never realised this but all Nintendo GC games have no loading screens! Wow!

"A book. If u know something why cant u make a kool game or prog.
come on now. A book. I hate books. book is stupid. I know that I need codes but I dont know the codes"
Raven
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 04:29
Quote: "Also - I've never realised this but all Nintendo GC games have no loading screens! Wow!"


Not true. While a majority are well designed not requiring them, there are a number that still do.

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg for example, but the loading times are a matter of seconds.. that said there is also Spyro Enter The Dragon who's loading times can sometimes equal Half-Life 2's.

Heh, spot which game comes from a developer that's home on the Playstation.

With the PC, you can forgive loading times.. despite not liking them, the way the hardware is setup it makes streaming game media quite difficult under Windows. Atleast not without some relative overhead.

For Consoles though, they're designed with very little Ram so your only real option is to stream data, and process it R/T. Why Sony games take so damn to load is completely beyond me as that hardware is MORE designed around streaming data than the others.

Rob K
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 05:07
Quote: "Also - I've never realised this but all Nintendo GC games have no loading screens! Wow!"


I think this has more to do with Nintendo putting pressure on developers to minimise loading times, rather than the console itself. Most Nintendo games have no loading screens at all, or the loading screens are "hidden" (eg. Mario Sunshine - where level loading occurs during the fade-in & fade-out transitions when you jump into a level portal, or Metroid Prime, where levels are divided into very small sections, divided from each other by doors. The next section loads as you approach each door). Some GC games do have noticeable loading times, but these tend to only occur in third-party games.


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Hawkeye
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 06:55
Very interesting stuff


Benjamin says: fecking twat of a program [msn7]
Meh blog
Mattman
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 09:51
Quote: "Also - I've never realised this but all Nintendo GC games have no loading screens! Wow!"


Guys, I think he meant the NINTENDO gamecube games. Those are the ones without the loading screens

God nobody reads signatures nowadays.
Raven
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 10:31
Not true... Pikmin has a very brief but noted loading screen.

David T
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Posted: 26th Jun 2005 19:21
Yes... I wrote Nintendo GC games

"A book. If u know something why cant u make a kool game or prog.
come on now. A book. I hate books. book is stupid. I know that I need codes but I dont know the codes"
MikeS
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Posted: 27th Jun 2005 03:37
Very good article.



A book? I hate book. Book is stupid.
(Formerly Yellow)

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