the best ones come from the beginning of the computer revolution, this one happened to me back when the Amstrad home computer came out, I was known as the local "guy obssesed with computers" for quite a while before the computer revolution got going, I had one of the first ZX80 home build computer kits (sinclairs first proper offering), anyway, one day I was disturbed by a knocking on the door and opened it to find one of our neibours cluttering up the doorstep, he wanted to know if I could help him cos he had just bought a computer and he thought it was broken, but he couldn`t understand the manual and could I check it and show him how to work it if it wasn`t broken, so we walk down to his house and he had a brand new Amstrad with the built in tape deck, plugged into the TV and the basic "ready" prompt and cursor blinking away.
"what`s wrong, seems to be ok" I say
"it won`t play games, I tried but it says theres an bad error" he said
"ok! can you show me what you did" I replied, thinking he maybe made a typo
so he very slowly finds and pounds
"play space invaders" and hit return
quick as a flash the computer replied
"syntax error"
seeing this I was trying not to crack up, and after a few questions I got to understand his problem, he had seen one of the new colour Amstrads on display in the local computer shop, and it had running the demo mode from Galaxians, matey thought it was a dedicated machine just to play Galaxians and had bought one (I don`t know what he thought the keyboard was for..negotiating treaties?
) , and now was frustrated cos it didn`t run the game he had seen in the shop.
so I explained it could run any sort of game and you could even make your own if you wanted, but if he wanted to play galaxians he would need to buy the game tape, but he told me was skint, he spent all his money on the machine and couldnt afford to buy the game, so I offered to take the machine home with me and enter some games from the computer magazines I had lay about the house (back then you had loads of magazines available just about computeing with program listings on every other page...ah! those where the days).
the guy agreed to this and would pick up the computer and some games in a couple of days, so I spent a little while and wrote and saved space invaders, galaxians, a worm game, and something I adapted from my computer called victorian sewers, onto tapes for the guy, took the computer and tapes back to his house and showed him how to get on, and he was well impressed, I was his best mate and all this c**p.
later on the same day an enraged thumping on the door, must be important so I ran downstairs (I was on my computer in the spare room
), and there was matey frothing at the mouth almost, calling me a stupid b*st*rd and getting well steamed, according to him I had broke his new computer and I was gonna pay for a new one, I managed to calm him down some and got him to agree to let me take a look, so back to dumbo`s house we go and he shows me the proof that his computer was broken.
on the screen it said "break in line 340"
I had a realy hard time holding my face straight, I didn`t dare laugh cos mr stoopid was about to bust my head not 5 minutes ago and was still on the edge, so I re-ran the program and showed him how you could break into programs and explained that if a unexpected error came up then it would stop with a message of some sort and all he had to do was type r - u - n - big - key - there, now he was all mr happy again, and just as I was leaveing he said.
"you say sometimes, like, the game, it might stop because of something not thought of when it was made?"
"yeah, thats right" said me (glad to be getting away from mr pillock)
"oh!", he said," so you aren`t that good with computers then? since it stopped like?"
I just said nobodys perfect and went home
just re-telling this has had me laughing like hell, the funny thing was he always went about after that talking like he was some super hacker, he even got put in charge of the computer department when his firm switched to computers for the accounts rofl.
Mentor.