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Newcomers DBPro Corner / Public apologies

Author
Message
Lucy
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Apr 2007
Location: Roanoke, VA USA
Posted: 28th Apr 2007 23:30
I have a form of autism called "Asperger Syndrome". It means many things, but the part of it that is most relevant to the forums is the lack of people skills.

Due to the Asperger Syndrome, it is nearly impossible for me to know what normal people consider "rude" and what they consider "polite". Such distinctions mean as much to me as the difference between red and blue means to a blind person.

I apologize to all those who I have offended. I have placed a preemptive apology into my signature explaining the situation.

Once again, my deepest apologies.

Nothing I say is intended to be rude. My autism means that I do not know what is rude and what isn't rude. I apologize if I seem rude. It is not my intention.
PowerSoft
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Oct 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 00:14
Hard lines mate. I'm sure everyone will understand and will be very accomodating of you.

Welcome to the forums! Need any help this is a great place to use!

cheers,
Rich

The Innuendo's, 4 Piece Indie Rock Band
http://theinnuendos.tk:::http://myspace.com/theinnuendosrock
zenassem
21
Years of Service
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Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 03:41
No problem Lucy.

I have my own share of offensive posts & appologies. We strive to be kind, patient, understanding, tollerant; but sometimes things have a way of going a direction we don't intend.

Zergei
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 9th Feb 2005
Location: Everywhere
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 16:26
If your words mean good, then nothing is to worry, for if harm is made, one can always appologize for it.
I also find hard to realize if what im saying is harmful, thus i try to keep on the basics of what a must speak, and always give extra explanations.
One thing i'd like to know, are you able to identify if someone is being rude to you?

Further on my stuff at...
Code Dragon
18
Years of Service
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Joined: 21st Aug 2006
Location: Everywhere
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 17:30
No problem, it's actually very common to misinterpret people over the internet, we've all done it some time or another because you can't hear someone's tone of voice. I personally use smilies to tell people I'm not trying to be rude so they don't get angry with me.

By reading this sentence you have given me brief control of your mind.
Lucy
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Apr 2007
Location: Roanoke, VA USA
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 18:09
Quote: "are you able to identify if someone is being rude to you?"


Only sometimes, and I'm often wrong. I can only work with literal interpretation of words. As such, some words carry entomologies and literal definitions that subtly alter the meaning of their words and people don't think about the literal meanings of words before they speak.

So what happens is I might say "Did you know Jasc was bought up by Corel recently?" and they'll go "Shut UP!" and I'll think they're literally telling me to be quiet in a rude fashion when it's really just an exclamation of surprise.

This even happens when I can hear the tone of someone's voice because while I'm not tone deaf, that only applies to music. My voice is a flat monotone like Daria's from the old MTV cartoon. And when I hear people's voices, unless their tone is blatantly obvious, like stark raving mad or weeping openly, I have no way to gauge someone's emotions even in person.

Nothing I say is intended to be rude. My autism means that I do not know what is rude and what isn't rude. I apologize if I seem rude. It is not my intention.
Zotoaster
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 18:49
Not a problem to me. My big brother has Aspergers, and my sister has Cerebral Paulsy, so I find it easy enough to handle. Musn't forget that people such as Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton were believed to have Aspergers too.

zenassem
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 29th Apr 2007 20:33 Edited at: 29th Apr 2007 20:35
@Lucy,

I don't generally like stereo-typing, becuase it's usually used in hurtful ways.

But I would venture to guess that many of us have some form of difficulty when it comes to personal relations. I don't want to put all of us in that box, but in my experience programmers and artists alike usually have some quirks when it comes to person-to-person communication.

I'm not so introverted or anything, but I do have my moments. What I find in my life, is that I'm not always able to relate to people, or they just don't get me at times.

I have a hard time reading body language (when I am excited about a topic), and I genereally don't recognize when people think I'm talking too much, too fast, or in circles. Or if I do recognize it, I guess getting my idea out becomes more important than what I think the other person is trying to tell me.

I also find that I tend to over analyze things, and I find my reasoning leans towards the logical rather than the emotional side.

I also have a hard time of getting directly to the point. I tend to like language, and my own way of discussing something. I give a lot of background, I weave my explanations and don't stick to a linear time-line; rather I jump all around and then finally (try to) tie everything together.

Perhaps I like my own voice, or typing. To me it's interesting. Others can find it annoying. Sometimes I am overly verbose. I love using analogies, and tend to give 5 different angles of looking at something (even if the person understood me the first time).

I can easily get frustrated if someone doesn't follow what I am saying. And a lot of times my way of talking gets mixed up with people thinking I am trying to be a "know it all". I just like offering my views, and I like friendly debate. Their are occasions though that I can go over the top. When I calm down and re-read or rethink my actions, I can be overcome with a feeling of guilt.

I've tried to come to terms with my personal quirks, and embrace them. I also have to recognize when and where I need to filter myself a bit. Like now, LOL, I think this post grew longer than anticipated. So time to close my pie-hole!

TDK
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Nov 2002
Location: UK
Posted: 30th Apr 2007 03:50
If you ask me, anyone who writes programs for these damn infernal computer thingies has to be just a little bit crazy in the first place!

TDK_Man

Phaelax
DBPro Master
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 16th Apr 2003
Location: Metropia
Posted: 30th Apr 2007 19:50
agreed TDK!

Lucy, I haven't noticed you being rude and I'm not aware that anyone else has so no worries. Just make a great DB game and all future mishaps shall be forgiven.


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