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FPSC Classic Work In Progress / [LOCKED] Tell me what you think!

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The Master Dinasty
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th Sep 2008
Location: Valhalla
Posted: 15th Sep 2008 21:45
okey so this is the story i thought of for my game,


The nazis won the war, now they have a base on the moon,
alldow they won, USA and europe made a base on mars.
Now named S.U.P. (Space United provinces)
Usa forces killed hitler in 1999, but hitler got a son
named Erich hitler wich hatred against jews was even
stronger then his father.
Now nazis are planning a attack on the SUP but
their medical-experiments-facility (M.E.F.) have had some
jews that escaped, to the old facilty wich was left in 2001
in order for a new and moore powerfull base.
Now you Mikhail w.
if theese jews come uppon a object named the "carrison object" all
nazis on the moon wil suffer EXTREME traumas, in order for
nazis attack for total domantion, it is relayd on you to
make it happen.

Basicly i need to hear your opinions on my story.
Anything i shoud add? or take off?

(ps i wasent shure where to post this!)

THANKS

Beacause massa is the master!
Zdrok
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 19th Dec 2006
Location: Pittsburgh
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 00:25
First off, don't say "Jews" as it is disrepectful (I'm not Jewish, though). Second of all, please post a screenshot before this thread = locked. Got it?

.caliber
Arriving TBA 2008
RedneckRambo
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 19th Oct 2006
Location: Worst state in USA... California
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 00:38 Edited at: 16th Sep 2008 00:39
How is saying "Jews" disrespectful? It's a religion.

And as far as the story, well, it's not very good. It just needs some work.

I kind of laughed at this line...
Quote: "Usa forces killed hitler in 1999"


Adolf Hitler — Date of Birth: 20 April 1889

So they killed him when he was 110 lol?

puppyofkosh
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 9th Jan 2007
Location:
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 00:42
You'd think they'd have got him sooner.
Nickydude
Retired Moderator
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Nov 2006
Location: Look outside...
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 01:05
Hitler isn't dead, neither is Elvis.

You do really need a screen shot (in .jpg format) else this thread will be locked as per the rules.

Deathead
19
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Joined: 14th Oct 2006
Location:
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 01:16
US Forces never killed Hitler, he killed himself after the russians cornered his bunker.


"Your greatest teacher is your harshest critic"-Butterfingers
puppyofkosh
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 9th Jan 2007
Location:
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 01:19
Quote: "US Forces never killed Hitler, he killed himself after the russians cornered his bunker.
"


Yeah, but England had a plan(I think this is accurate) two send two of their elite soldiers in to kill hitler, I don't know if it meant shooting him or whatever ways they liked, but they decided not to, because they thought he was doing more damage to Germany alive, then dead.
RedneckRambo
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 19th Oct 2006
Location: Worst state in USA... California
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 03:11
Quote: "US Forces never killed Hitler, he killed himself after the russians cornered his bunker.
"

What actually happened is irrelavent.

The Master Dinasty
17
Years of Service
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Joined: 14th Sep 2008
Location: Valhalla
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 08:57
I know the idea was that he survived, and a little writting mistake ther lol 1969... will make him about 79 right?
ehh critisismem is good (i made this last night) but i do need help any one think of re-doing this?


Please help me !

ANY IDEAS WOUD BE GOOD!

Beacause massa is the master!
The Master Dinasty
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th Sep 2008
Location: Valhalla
Posted: 16th Sep 2008 09:13
ive moved the post to product chat

Beacause massa is the master!

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