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Geek Culture / post your computer jokes/quotes

Author
Message
Phaelax
DBPro Master
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 16th Apr 2003
Location: Metropia
Posted: 10th Jul 2009 16:11
I know, pointless thread. But nothing is broken at work so there's not much to do.

"Hey ! It compiles ! Ship it !"

"Those who can't write programs, write help files."

"Yo moma is such a whore, if she was a chmod she'd be 777 because everyone has access..." (im sure not everyone will get this one)

[url="http://dbcc.zimnox.com"][/url]
Leon Kennedy
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 7th Sep 2008
Location: Neither here nor there
Posted: 10th Jul 2009 21:02
"Programming is the art of transforming caffeine into error messages."

Priest of the Church of Joe Wood

In memory of Nanee. 9/1/1993 - 5/16/2009. Rest in Peace, little girl.
Travis Gatlin
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th May 2009
Location: Oxford, Alabama
Posted: 20th Jul 2009 05:39
Book? i hate book,BOOK IS STUPID!

yeah im southern WATCHA GONNA DO BOUT IT?
xplosys
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Jan 2006
Playing: FPSC Multiplayer Games
Posted: 20th Jul 2009 05:49 Edited at: 20th Jul 2009 06:11
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - It’s a hardware problem
___________________________________________________________

I found this to be somewhat relevant:

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the MODs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this forum which makes light bulbs relevant to this forum

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the forum that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
___________________________________________________________

How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.


Brian.

Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks.

fpsFREE - Contact Me
Gil Galvanti
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 22nd Dec 2004
Location: Texas, United States
Posted: 20th Jul 2009 07:30
http://www.heuse.com/cphumor.htm
My favorites:
Quote: "There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

Quote: ""C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it
harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
- Bjarne Stroustrup "

Quote: "BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN. "

Quote: "Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature. "

Quote: "Programming is 10% science, 25% ingenuity and 65% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. "

Quote: "If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer. "

Quote: ""It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?" "

Quote: "There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. "

Quote: "You can't make a program without broken egos. "



Neuro Fuzzy
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Jun 2007
Location:
Posted: 20th Jul 2009 09:00 Edited at: 20th Jul 2009 09:01
I got nothin... XKCD on the other hand does!





[alt text] 40% of OpenBSD installs lead to shark attacks. It's their only standing security issue.

Quote: "Programming is the art of transforming caffeine into error messages."
hey! you took that off one of the images in the top right corner of the page!
Accoun
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 9th Jan 2006
Location: The other end of the galaxy...
Posted: 21st Jul 2009 16:32
Do game jokes count?
How to kill a man that already lost his life? Ban his WoW account.

Make games, not war.

Jeku
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 21st Jul 2009 17:22
^^^ I don't get it.

Venge
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 13th Sep 2006
Location: Iowa
Posted: 21st Jul 2009 17:44
Since he plays WoW, he by default must have no life...? It implies that anyone who plays it must do so religiously, and by preventing that you drive them to suicide by mouse-cord strangulation.


In speculation.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

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