Quote: "Also I was hoping it wasn't sarcasm..."
Well, me too. But I researched only a little in this area, and it doesn't seem to be that easy. Such a plugin would have to provide at least support for .PDF and .SVG and especially PDF looks challenging.
Aside from reading and understanding a document, there's a much harder and time-consuming aspect of creating this plugin: rendering. Bezier curves, gradients, filling of arbitrary shapes, anti-aliasing, paths, curved text, filter effects, ... They're definitely not something DBP supports, and everything would have to be coded from scratch.
If any plugin could do this, it would certainly be worth money.
Cheers!
Sven B