You don't need the whole SDK (that's awfully big), only the runtime. Even that is quite big... Here are links to the downloadable version and the web installer.
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/en/details.aspx?FamilyID=cb7397f3-0949-487b-9247-8fee451bf952
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/en/details.aspx?FamilyID=2da43d38-db71-4c1b-bc6a-9b6652cd92a3&displaylang=en?WT.mc_id=MSCOM_DLC_DR_111SXX02959
Quote: "in my SDK folder i got Developer runtimes."
It's not the developer runtime, it's the "redist" (redistributable) folder. Inside there are cab files and DXSetup.exe.
When you download the stuff from the Microsoft site and unpack it, it will actually unpack the same files that you already have in the "redist" folder of the SDK.
You need to start DXSetup.exe on your friend's computer which will unpack the necessary files from the cab packages. As an alternative, you can try the web installer which is smaller to download or carry around, but it needs internet connection on the other computer as well to download the missing files. I haven't tried the web installer yet, so I can't give further guidance on how it works.
Quote: "Is there anyway to make one installer for both?"
There sure is, if only I knew how
Seriously, here are some options I know of. You can buy some commercial installer which is able to install pre-requisites like DirectX. In one of the recent newsletters TGC published an article about how to create msi installers with free tools, you can try to make that work too. And there is always the option of programming an installer yourself.