Your text about Seventh Crystal of Theia looks ugly. All those separated lines look bad.
Quote: "Seventh Crystal Of Theia (SCOT) is an adventure/puzzle game with monsters, action and magic, developed in Unity by Roland Strålberg and myself (Chris Van Wijmeersch).
The game involves Celly, a young woman who has been 'baptized' to be 'the chozen one', and save the world. [Wink]
Chronos (an evil Elder God) has stolen the Seven magical Crystals of Theia, Goddess of Light and Pure. Without these Seven Crystals, Theia lost all her powers to preserve goodness in the world.
That's where our heroin Celly comes in. She's been chosen to find back these Crystals, and return them to Goddess Theia and unlock the power to defeat Chronos.
Celly will have to solve puzzles (think of puzzles in the style of Indiana Jones, but also other types of puzzles, such as find key to unlock door, etc...), conquer monsters and do platforming throughout a variety of levels.
These levels are based upon themes (desert, ice, fire, etc...).
By solving the puzzles in each level, the player will be able to proceed to the next level, and the goal is to unlock the final level, which is where Chronos has to be defeated.
There will be NO BLOOD in this game. Celly's main weapon is a Magic Wand, which will also serve as a tool to interact with the world. A variety of magic spells will be at her disposal to fight evil monsters. "
I tried to smarten it up but you really need to rewrite the whole thing:
Quote: "Seventh Crystal Of Theia is an adventure/puzzle game, developed in Unity by Roland Strålberg and myself (Chris Van Wijmeersch).
Chronos, an evil Elder God, has stolen the Seven magical Crystals of Theia; the source of the Goddess of Light and Purity's powers. Without these Seven Crystals, Theia cannot preserve goodness in the world. Celly, (who the hell is Celly?), has been chosen to reclaim Theia's Crystals and return them to Goddess Theia so that she may defeat Chronos.
As Celly, you will solve puzzles, defeat monsters and traverse treacherous terrain throughout a wide variety of levels.
Celly's magic wand serves as both a powerful weapon and a tool to interact with objects in the world. Many magic spells will be at her disposal to despatch evil monsters and manipulate her surroundings."
The story is uninspiring and vague.
Who is Celly? Why was Celly chosen? What makes Theia a goddess if she is totally powerless without her crystals? Can anyone use her crystals? Can Chronos use her crystals? What is Chronos doing to try and stop the crystals from being recovered? Where is the story taking place? How has the theft of the crystals affected the world and the people living there? What civilisations live there? What other gods are there? Who is on Chronos's side and who is on Theia's side?...
It's like you made a game and then tacked on a poorly thought out story because you felt like you should have one. You don't need a grand story, and putting something like that up just makes your game look bad. Either remove the story and just stick to describing the mechanics, or write a proper story.
