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Geek Culture / Heartbroken. Need to vent.

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Yodaman Jer
User Banned
Posted: 31st Jul 2013 18:56
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So, after just over three long years, and what I thought was a happy relationship, my girlfriend decided to breakup with me last night, because she "felt like it was a one-sided relationship" and that she was "the most independent out of the two". Which, knowing her, is code for "you're not in college, therefore you're worthless and won't amount to anything".

I didn't see it coming, she never discussed anything with me about how she felt, and she didn't want to give me any time to attempt to patch things up, or to fix it, or anything. My only clues to this happening were that she stopped talking to me over the weekend, and only offered basic responses when I texted her, and she wouldn't answer my calls. I finally asked if she was mad at me and she said we "needed to talk". She came over to my house, we went outside, it started to rain and she dumped me. The worst part? She didn't even act like it was that hard of a decision. No tears were shed on her part, and she wouldn't even listen to me when I kept saying that her reasons were pretty terrible and didn't make sense. Like I said, she acted like it wasn't even a hard decision.

Then she told me I was a wonderful, just not HER wonderful person, and she hoped we could go back to being just friends.

I already know that's not possible. We were so close, I was able to tell her everything that was on my mind, anything that bothered me, and I could always turn to her when I needed someone. Now she's gone, and I have almost no one to turn to except for friends and family, but it's just not the same... When you're that close to someone and they suddenly, out of the blue and without any warning decide that you're not worthy of them, it basically is the same feeling of being told someone you love just died and you'll never see them again. Your mind numbs, the world stops spinning for a moment, and you feel like nothing will be the same again ever, because you just lost someone.

I guess on the bright side, I'll save a lot of money from not going on dates with her... and I'll have more time to focus on learning Game Development. But on the not so bright side, I feel like I'm done with dating for a while.

Sorry to be so personal, I just had to vent and knew that you guys are pretty supportive people. Everybody have a beer on me!

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rolfy
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Posted: 31st Jul 2013 19:05 Edited at: 31st Jul 2013 19:17
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Quote: "because she "felt like it was a one-sided relationship""

She is seeing someone else....

Quote: "I guess on the bright side, I'll save a lot of money from not going on dates with her... and I'll have more time to focus on learning Game Development"
Could explain why...you been neglecting her in favour of the computer...or at least that's how she see's it. Your passion is misdirected.

You will get over it
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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 31st Jul 2013 19:15
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Quote: "She is seeing someone else..."


Honestly, I wondered... but everyone said it was a silly assumption. I kind of still doubt it, she's not that kind of person, but you never know. I don't want to know!

Quote: "Could explain why...you been neglecting her in favour of the computer...or at least that's how she see's it."


Hmm, maybe, although I always asked her if she wanted to do something whenever we both were free. But I don't know.

Quote: "You will get over it"


I know. It just really sucks right now, but the way I look at it, maybe it's a blessing in disguise? One door closes and another one opens, all those encouraging quotes!

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rolfy
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Posted: 31st Jul 2013 19:20 Edited at: 31st Jul 2013 19:26
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Of course it sucks...the reason I believe she has another guy, at least to move onto, is her lack of caring bout splitting with you after all this time.

Some women are like monkey's they don't let go of one branch till they got a firm grip on the next.

Quote: "
Hmm, maybe, although I always asked her if she wanted to do something whenever we both were free. But I don't know."
NEVER leave the date decision to her, makes her feel you have no motivation for the relationship and would rather be doing something else, sounds like the romance went out of it.

Think back to the start when you couldn't wait and would drop whatever you were doing to see her. She missed that.
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xplosys
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Playing: FPSC Multiplayer Games
Posted: 31st Jul 2013 19:59
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It's tough, I know, and I've been through that. I can only hope for you that one day you'll find a girl like I did. She's always happy to see me, soft, compliant and ready to do whatever I suggest. Oh, and her name is Vinyl.

Brian.

I am the underground.
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Wolf
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Posted: 31st Jul 2013 22:39 Edited at: 3rd Aug 2013 19:42
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Edit: I posted a lot of babbeling here because I was semi drunk at the time. Most helpful things have been said already so I dont need to repeat them anyway



-Wolf

http://www.serygalacaffeine.com
There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get stronger. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.
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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 31st Jul 2013 23:46
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I wasn't really dependent on her. I found her dependable, which are two totally different things.

I guess I did sort of feel last week like there was something coming, but I never thought it would be a breakup. We went through so much together, it just never occurred to me that she might end it as suddenly as she did.

Life goes on, I guess. But for the moment, even playing a game feels empty and hollow somehow... I can't seem to control my emotions very well. I'm trying to be happy but right now it's just too hard.

And to make it all worse, today is also my sister's birthday, so what was originally going to be a happy day is now sort of ruined, because my girlfriend and her were pretty good friends too, but now she's not invited over (thank God), so she effectively also severed her friendship with my sister. Oh well, I guess...

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mr Handy
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 02:34
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Yodaman Jer, I heard you need two vent. Here:





«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
«If you contributed to the reason for locking, you may now find yourself on moderation, or in extreme cases in the grave»
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Zotoaster
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 03:51
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Love is a certain kind of intoxication, and you are experiencing the inevitable hangover. But soon you will sober up, and see everything clearly. Time will solve all your problems my friend, and patience is a virtue.

"everyone forgets a semi-colon sometimes." - Phaelax
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NIlooc223
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 03:59
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Same thing I believe is happening to me. So I feel were your coming from bro. It sucks.
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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 04:35
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mr Handy, that made me grin for the first time today!

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thenerd
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 05:55
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Hey, I know it sucks right now but life goes on. That relationship wasn't the last and certainly not the best one you'll have. Don't beat yourself up for anything that happened there, and just think of the positives. You have more time for yourself, more freedom, and more chances to move on as a person. You'll be fine!

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KeithC
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 18:26
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Keep your head up man, it's an unfortunate part of life that most of us have gone through (or will go through). The important thing is that you have an outlet to talk it out; whether that's your Family, or just familiar people here. You were with someone for so long; it's time for you to take the time to be yourself again. Don't jump right in with another, just looking to fill a void; it wouldn't be fair to yourself, or her.

-Keith

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Phaelax
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 20:05
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Look on the bright side, now you have a chance to upgrade!

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mr Handy
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 21:46
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@Yodaman Jer
Just as planned

«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
«If you contributed to the reason for locking, you may now find yourself on moderation, or in extreme cases in the grave»
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fallen one
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Posted: 1st Aug 2013 23:47 Edited at: 1st Aug 2013 23:56
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Looking at relationship styles (love types), She is either a Pragma lover (romance isn't found here, practical business contract relationship, )
Pragmatic lovers think rationally and realistically about their expectations in a partner, and select them via comparison shopping or shopping-list love. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal.
Pragmatic lovers will avoid infidelity to avoid adverse consequences, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of a relationship. Pragmatic lovers view sex as a reward or a means of procreation, and view marriage and children as potential liabilities and assets.
The advantage of pragmatic love is practicality and realism. The disadvantage is un-demonstrativeness and lack of emotion.

Or a psychopath, clues, lack of emotion, its just business style of breakup, and the big one, 'lets be friends'. Translation, you was a good spanner, but I find a screwdriver more useful right now, but in the future, I might have need of a spanner again, so Ill leave a door open just in case. Like I said, its just business. What you said about her is pretty typical on what I have learned from accounts of psychopath break ups. Id have to hear more about her though to make any serious appraisal.


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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 2nd Aug 2013 17:27
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Thanks for the advice and support, guys! I do feel a lot better today. I've found what's helped a lot is listening to a lot of music and watching a lot of Family Guy.

I think I actually feel well enough today to do something productive! But we'll see if I still feel that way in 5 minutes.

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MrValentine
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Posted: 3rd Aug 2013 15:10 Edited at: 3rd Aug 2013 17:07
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Yodaman, sorry to hear that but great to see you getting back on your feet dude!

I found something as did mr Handy, this should help if you had any roundabout venting needs...



I spent half an hour looking for huge missile silo venting systems, not easy to find I am not familiar with the terminology unfortunately...

We are all here if you need us and hey guys how about we all play something like Battlefield 3 multiplayer or something... or AC3 multiplayer...

EDIT

Hope this makes you smile... my inspiration was Super Man



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Libervurto
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Posted: 4th Aug 2013 20:57
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Love is like a stapler, it can hold two people together but there is always one of those staple remover majiggers that can undo everything, or most people just tear the little bit of paper between the two prongs of the staple to break them apart, or sometimes I bend back the prongs and pick out the staple that way. Yes, staples are much like love.

As I've always said: "A good metaphor is like a goose."
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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 4th Aug 2013 23:54
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Quote: "As I've always said: "A good metaphor is like a goose.""


"It has feathers and doesn't carry much weight"?

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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 5th Aug 2013 13:51 Edited at: 5th Aug 2013 13:51
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Quote: "
"It has feathers and doesn't carry much weight"?"


No, it lays eggs.


Anyhow, sorry to hear this my man. I think in that position I would appreciate an upfront honesty, it sounds like to me it might not be the reasons given (if she didn't feel it anymore, why not say that? Heck, even if she thought this guy down the road had nice buns, at least you'd know straight in your head what went wrong), but I am merely speculating. If it was one sided, there was plenty of opportunity to resolve the issue. Then again there are people who just 'expect' things and give no indication what-so-ever what they're expecting and then complain that you've not done it and you're pretty much left puzzled because you didn't know - it's possible she fit into that category. I personally prefer people to be up front, straight and honest - not necessarily be a douche (your hair is simply abysmal, your taste in music sucks and dude, what's with those shoes???) , but I'd rather address an issue and resolve it that to let it get to a point where it's unbearable. It sounds like you're exactly the same.

With regards to friendships, that phrase is a kick in the shin - some people can survive the friendzone just fine, but it's not for everybody, she might feel comfortable, but if you're, as you say, heartbroken I can imagine it would be a very difficult thing for you to do. But of course once you've had some distance and cleared your head, you never know, but a lot of the time ending a relationship sadly means ending a friendship. To be honest, I think Fallen One is partially right, it could be a case of, she wants a screwdriver, you're a spanner and she made need a spanner in the future. If you're able to provide what she wants as a friend, she won't have need of you as her boyfriend. Of course, a relationship is a two thing, including friendships, so it's not just about giving her what she wants but also what you want. And I think that's why "let's be friends" tends not to work.

However, looks like you've got the right attitude, rather than becoming creepy stalker Yodaman Jer, you've decided to be productive Yodaman Jer. Some people handle break up badly and just become a massive pain in the bum, "what won't you love me? I made an ashtray from one of my kneecaps to show you how much I love you. I'd catch a grenade for you! I'd jump in a train for you." Yeah, Bruno Mars is definitely the creepy stalker guy.

But programming is where it's at, weren't you learning Unity3D or something like that?

Quote: " I've found what's helped a lot is listening to a lot of music and watching a lot of Family Guy"


I've just got back from Wacken: Open Air Festival, on our campsite somebody has this clip from Family Guy set to repeat over and over and over and was blasting it fairly loud. It was funny at first, then very annoying (particularly during the night), then funny again the next day. I think we'll annoy the neighbours with this.



Even if it's in German, it should cheer you up, bring you beyond the realms of sanity and somehow bring you back again.

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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 01:57 Edited at: 6th Aug 2013 02:09
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Quote: "...there are people who just 'expect' things and give no indication what-so-ever what they're expecting and then complain that you've not done it and you're pretty much left puzzled because you didn't know - it's possible she fit into that category."


This sums it up beautifully, and I couldn't have said it better myself!

Thanks for your support everyone. Normally, these kinds of threads are sort of frowned-upon, but I figured that I could trust you guys not to turn it into a heap of trash like I've seen on other forums.

Quote: "However, looks like you've got the right attitude, rather than becoming creepy stalker Yodaman Jer, you've decided to be productive Yodaman Jer."


Indeed, creepy stalker would get me in a lot of unnecessary, terrible trouble. Although I did attempt to talk to her about my feelings, and tell her that I was sorry (because she WAS right about a couple of things), but she thought I was trying to say let's get back together (note: I am NOT trying to get back with her, because why would I want someone who made me feel bad and just tossed me to the side like that? No thanks!), so I had to clear it up via a FB message because she wouldn't let me talk to her face-to-face. Oh well. I promised her I wouldn't contact her again until she did. So, I'll probably never talk to her again.

But besides that, yes, I've been learning Unity3D, and have started taking some online game development classes via Gameinstitute.com.

I've also realized that I have missed out on a lot of my old hobbies; video editing, writing, reading, playing my guitar and piano, and I've become a different person because of all of that. I can't figure out why I ever stopped any of it all (especially the video stuff), but I doubt it has much to do with her. Although she and her family did constantly make me feel bad about not being in college, so it could be that they also made me feel bad about "no-money-earning hobbies".

So, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to buy the Canon EOS Rebel T3i DSLR camera.
I'm going to buy a MacBook Pro, 15", and Final Cut Pro.
I'm going to get back into writing, and possibly try to finish a funny story I had started years ago.
I'm going to work on a script with my brother for a movie idea we've had for damn near 10 years.
I'm going to play my guitar and learn the piano properly,
AND I'M GOING TO ENJOY BEING SINGLE FOR A WHILE!!!

I shall meet this situation with the utmost optimistic outlook I possible can! Hey look, I can finally not feel bad about accidentally noticing another girl's cute rear!

And MrValentine, thanks again for the banner! It's going to become the banner on my blog, too!

EDIT: WHoops, meant to respond to rolfy who said this:

Quote: "NEVER leave the date decision to her, makes her feel you have no motivation for the relationship and would rather be doing something else, sounds like the romance went out of it.

Think back to the start when you couldn't wait and would drop whatever you were doing to see her. She missed that."


Ah, I believe I did a mis-speak a bit ago. When I said that I asked her if she wanted to do anything, I would typically follow up with date ideas: Go see a movie, go bowling, etc.,., and usually I was the one who asked her out. I believe she asked me out...let's see, I can actually figure this out... 5 times. One to prom, one to a movie, one to another movie, one to lunch, and one to a place called Rotary Gardens which is a cool place here in town. Compare that to my asking her out about 3 times a week.

However, that doesn't mean the romance wasn't gone. I've thought about it, and I actually DID see this coming about as early as May. She stopped kissing me the way that she used to, and we only seemed to really enjoy each other's company as friends... so, for a while it was like we were just friends with "kissing benefits", I guess.

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MrValentine
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 02:24
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Quote: "And MrValentine, thanks again for the banner! It's going to become the banner on my blog, too! "


more than happy dude, also those points there... can be added to this thread

Be happy, be strong, be fresh, be social and above all else BE YOU!

Oh and we are all here when you need us

I this community

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Daniel wright 2311
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 02:36
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Talk to the expert, the truth? people are not the same, even twins are way different, but look the same. NO TWO PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BELONG TO EACH OTHER FOREVER. You have to remember life is a gift and also a adventure, sitting around broken heated is well, as it sounds.

How you fell is up to your thinking, I have known many of friends in the past that would jump to one girl then another,they where happy no matter what, living life and not wondering.

This is what you need to do, stop wondering and start living a little.Go out with friends, think about that time only, not your past and what could have been.

my signature keeps being erased by a mod So this is my new signature.
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Libervurto
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 03:12
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If I've learned one thing about women, it's that they have breasts.
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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 13:17
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Quote: "If I've learned one thing about women, it's that they have breasts. "


And this is why I love you OBese. You tell it like it is.

Quote: "I've also realized that I have missed out on a lot of my old hobbies; video editing, writing, reading, playing my guitar and piano, and I've become a different person because of all of that. I can't figure out why I ever stopped any of it all (especially the video stuff), but I doubt it has much to do with her. Although she and her family did constantly make me feel bad about not being in college, so it could be that they also made me feel bad about "no-money-earning hobbies"."


I don't know what it's like for the US, but a college education isn't everything. You do what makes you happy and persue the life you want to persue, lack of college education != poverty. It doesn't mean you're going to be serving up fries in McDonalds (YOLO!). In the 3 or 4 years you'd be at college you could be working on something else that's productive. I know my friend wish he did (what he ended up wanting to do required an apprenticeship, not a degree in English).

In the UK for the last decade or so we've been trying to push people into higher education, thinking it would be beneficial, I believe the government had a 50% target, but the result was that the degree lost its value as there's numerous qualified individuals, meaning employers are finding other ways of sifting through the CVs thrown at them. I've got a degree and I work in a call centre, my mum & sister both have degrees and they're care workers. My brother doesn't have a degree and he's the head chef of a highly rated restaurant in our area.

Of course I wouldn't waste my life. To get the 'extra' edge now, what I'm doing is working on my writing in my spare time (for example, writing technical documents for work, might help me find a job as a technical author) and also will be starting a journalism course (prolly this September) as most journalism jobs now require it. My sister is in a similar boat, she's looking for an apprenticeship so she can get into tattooing professionally.

With your programming, if you come up with some decent results worth showing, it's possible it may pay off. However, I wouldn't know what these folks are interested in when looking for employees. Regardless, I wouldn't let people dictate what you want to do, but of course some people may have sound advice. However, college isn't the be all and end all, at least it isn't in the UK, I don't know what employers are like in the US. What you're doing may or may not be a waste, but I can see people viewing it as a waste as you're doing nothing but sitting behind a computer...then again, there's a lot of jobs where you are sitting behind a computer.

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Fluffy Rabbit
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Posted: 6th Aug 2013 13:21
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Quote: "on the bright side, I'll save a lot of money from not going on dates with her"

I hate women.
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DevilLiger
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 09:51
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Well on the brightside is that she can always be your special friend with benefit. XD other than that it's a great time to invest in yourself. go ahead and save up some money and get those things you wanted that you listed. The great part is that you can finally see other ladies.
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Jeku
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 11:10
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Quote: "...there are people who just 'expect' things and give no indication what-so-ever what they're expecting and then complain that you've not done it and you're pretty much left puzzled because you didn't know - it's possible she fit into that category."


I'm fairly sure all women fit into that category, or at least the ones I dated!

Hey man, I know it's a difficult part of life, but just so you know time heals all the relationship pains. When you meet the next girl you will be glad you're single.

And don't, DON'T look back and wonder where you went wrong, because it will drive you crazy. People are fickle sometimes and even if you would have done things different every step of the way, it still might have ended up with the same result. Just look forward and don't think about the past. Many people here are saying "maybe you did this" or "you shouldn't have done this". Screw it, really! Most people go through dozens of girlfriends before they meet the one they end up with forever. Hell, I was even married for 5 years and that didn't work out! Look at me, 4 years after the separation and divorce and I'm happy that I'm out of that marriage. But at the time we split up, it was SUPER difficult. But time went on and my heart healed and I met someone else. It *always* works that way.

Keep your chin up and get out there more. Don't make the mistake of going into your man-cave and spending all your free time on the computer. Yes I love TGC and AppGameKit, but I would never recommend to anyone to spend their entire life devoted to programming. Do some extra-curricular activities and get out there.

Ask for 3 girls' emails or phone numbers a week and you will meet someone else to hang out with. Don't focus on getting a new girlfriend, but rather just make new friends (female or male). Chin up!


Senior Developer - CBS Interactive Music Group
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Fluffy Rabbit
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 12:08
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Buy property out in the desert. Spend your days watching the sun rise and set and meditate on the power of your situation-- You have the strength to overpower and kill another human being. That should make you proud. You spared your girlfriend, and why is that? It certainly isn't because you hated her. If anything, you wanted her to break up with you, and you should respect her for doing so. Next time you get a girlfriend, you can be the one to break up with her. You are man. You are equal to woman, neither better nor worse. Many days of sex await you.
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Dark Java Dude 64
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 12:49
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Quote: "Many days of sex await you."
The child predicts a positive future!
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baxslash
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 14:49
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Quote: "The child predicts a positive future!"

I'm sensing a theme here, is it anti-fluffy day or something?


Yes, he's me
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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 15:10
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Quote: "I'm sensing a theme here, is it anti-fluffy day or something?"


That was today? Damn, I thought it was next week, why didn't you guys tell me?

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MrValentine
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 15:27
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And I had this picture ready... darn too soon...

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Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 7th Aug 2013 22:04
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Quote: "I don't know what it's like for the US, but a college education isn't everything. You do what makes you happy and persue the life you want to persue, lack of college education != poverty"


That's what I kept trying to tell them! There are plenty of job fields in the US that don't require any sort of degree and offer great pay and benefits. Road construction, for example, because of the harsh conditions year-round offers some pretty big bucks. Not that I want to do that, but if I needed to I'm sure I could!

Her and her family just didn't understand that. They had been taught that college was NECESSARY to have a good life, and that if someone didn't go they'd be pretty much screwed. Sure, I wish I was able to go, but seeing the mass amount of people on facebook (I have 230+ friends, most of whom I don't really know but are various cousins of cousins) who have graduated college as recently as 2009 and still haven't found a job in the field they wanted hasn't made me feel too bad about not being able to!

Her family is also VERY anti-homeschooling, and seeing as I was home-schooled my whole life, I'm sure that also had something to do with it.

Quote: "With your programming, if you come up with some decent results worth showing, it's possible it may pay off."


That's what I'm hoping! Otherwise, my only other choice of "dream job" would be int he video industry. But that's supposed to be super hard to get into unless you live in the right areas.

I don't know. I'm 21 years old and still don't quite know what I want to do with my life, I just know my interests and what jobs I'd like to have someday. Actually, what I'd love to do right now is move to Maryland, USA and work for Bethesda Softworks. That'd be so cool!

Quote: "And don't, DON'T look back and wonder where you went wrong, because it will drive you crazy. People are fickle sometimes and even if you would have done things different every step of the way, it still might have ended up with the same result. Just look forward and don't think about the past."


Thanks Jeku! Yeah, I did start to wonder where it all went wrong but quickly realized that was fruitless and futile, all it was doing was making me sleep less and be more stressed out. She had her reasons/opinions for breaking it off with me, and I've accepted it. With each day (it's been over a week now), it gets slightly easier, and I grow happier knowing that I at least had her for a little while. This sounds strange, but maybe we WERE supposed to be together, but for only a little while? It helps me to think that way, anyway. She is a wonderful person, and I still love her (as a friend, but of course still the romantic way as well), but we were just so fundamentally different she decided it couldn't work anymore. She was right, sadly.

Quote: "I was even married for 5 years and that didn't work out! Look at me, 4 years after the separation and divorce and I'm happy that I'm out of that marriage. But at the time we split up, it was SUPER difficult. But time went on and my heart healed and I met someone else. It *always* works that way."


Dang, sorry to hear that marriage didn't work out, but I'm glad you found someone else! It's always nice when you can move on and find someone. I know it will happen to me to, I just have to wait a little while. I need a little "Jeremy time".

Quote: "Ask for 3 girls' emails or phone numbers a week and you will meet someone else to hang out with. Don't focus on getting a new girlfriend, but rather just make new friends (female or male). Chin up!"


Hehe, I've never been good at asking girls for their phone numbers. I guess we'll see how that goes!

Quote: "Many days of sex await you."


Well, thanks for the positivity I guess? Although I hope I'm married first. Not to say that if a person isn't it's necessarily a bad thing, I just feel it would be better for me to wait.

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Seppuku Arts
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Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Aug 2013 22:24
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Quote: "Her and her family just didn't understand that. They had been taught that college was NECESSARY to have a good life, and that if someone didn't go they'd be pretty much screwed. Sure, I wish I was able to go, but seeing the mass amount of people on facebook (I have 230+ friends, most of whom I don't really know but are various cousins of cousins) who have graduated college as recently as 2009 and still haven't found a job in the field they wanted hasn't made me feel too bad about not being able to!"


This is exactly how it was when I graduated (2010). It took me ages to find a proper job, same for many friends. I've got a college degree and I've ended up working in call centre. Yes, I would say there's more door open out there for me as a graduate, but I've found most of those doors ask for education and those that don't have a lot of competition. That said, some did manage to get those decent cushy graduate jobs.

Of course, sometimes smarting with a small job and working your way up through an organisation or progressing your career in other ways is also beneficial. My brother started his chef career in a pretty standard cookie cutter restaurant that microwaved most of their food, worked his way up, picked up some qualifications along the way and proved himself. It struck me odd when somebody I went to uni with said they were thinking of switching to a Catering degree so they could become a chef. I think sometimes there's degrees just for the sake of having degrees.

At the end of the day I think it's about what makes you happy. To be honest, a lot of people in their 20s don't know what they want to do, it's not the end of the world.

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Dark Java Dude 64
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15
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Joined: 21st Sep 2010
Location: Neither here nor there nor anywhere
Posted: 7th Aug 2013 22:29
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Quote: "I'm sensing a theme here, is it anti-fluffy day or something?"
It's not, I'm teasing him, but I'll stop if you see so is fit.
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Jeku
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Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 8th Aug 2013 02:33 Edited at: 8th Aug 2013 02:35
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Quote: "Hehe, I've never been good at asking girls for their phone numbers. I guess we'll see how that goes!"


Me too sadly... and I still have that problem. Funny story.. my last girlfriend who I dated for 1.5 years is a Korean girl who works at a Tim Hortons here in Vancouver. Instead of asking for her phone number, I asked her for her email address. She is quite used to guys asking her for her # and rejecting them that she was thrown off a bit when I asked for her email instead. An email address is much less "threatening" than giving out a phone number because she can always block me if she thinks I'm weird or ugly or whatever. If she gives out her #, she might have to eventually cancel it if a crazy stalker won't leave her alone.

Anyways, we hit it off and dated for 1.5 years. She is the most exciting girl I've ever dated, and the friendliest and prettiest too. Sometimes when you are least expecting it some good fortune goes your way and things open up.

Eventually she moved to Dubai to be a flight attendant, which is another story for another day.


Senior Developer - CBS Interactive Music Group
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Seditious
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Joined: 2nd Aug 2013
Location: France
Posted: 8th Aug 2013 02:40
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Quote: "Although I hope I'm married first. Not to say that if a person isn't it's necessarily a bad thing, I just feel it would be better for me to wait."


Just a heads up, it sucks to wait 'till you're married only to find your partner has a penis.

Formerly Benjamin.
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