you've got a workable topology
and a definite improvement
but you could still use some more study of proportion and form. traditional drawing/sketching references will help with this. also, try viewing the model in orthographic as well as perspective mode, flip between them often and you will get a more complete feel for how the model actually looks.
at first glance the mouth seems wide, but i think it is actually ok on width, the problem is that the corners need to be pulled back some, so that it wraps the face, it is currently mostly planar on the x axis.
the eyes ARE too wide, and also need to have the outer corners pull back, just as the mouth.
as for the render, you should look into a good clay material and lighting setup, it really makes a difference in presentation from using the defaults. even just toning down the spec power and hardness will help make it more matte and allow a better view of detail and form.
I'm gonna be king of the moon dots!