From the kickstarter it's not really clear what this is about. I skimmed over the page and at first totally missed the link to your site, I was scrolling up and down looking for the game rules. I think you need to give a basic introduction to the game on the kickstarter and link to the pdf with the complete rules. (Also I think it would be good to have the pdf available as a separate file that people can open in their browser.)
I even think some concept art would help stir the imagination. Like this for example
You say
Quote: "The models will be delivered unassembled in panels and the parts will have to be cut out using a craft knife."
What do you mean "cut out", how much cutting is required?
I think your Risks & Challenges section is a bit bloated with a bit too much talk about what could go wrong. I have trimmed it a bit if this helps.
Quote: "The manufacturing will be sub-contracted out to a laser-cutting specialist. As a design engineer, I have many years of experience dealing with manufacturing companies. The manufacturer will laser cut the panels directly from the CAD data I provide them, which reduces manufacturing errors. I've already had a small batch made up, as you can see from the photos, to iron out any issues with the models and refine their design. This test batch was delivered promptly and I was happy with the quality (yada yada sing the manufacturers praises).
The other challenge is simply sending everything out to the backers in a timely manner. The estimated delivery dates have been based on getting 200 backers (so sending out 200 packages). If I get more backers then the delivery date will probably be pushed back, if I get fewer backers then backers will get their rewards quicker. My intention is to send out a plan of delivery dates if and when the project is funded and I have a firm delivery date from the manufacturer.
I will be making a concerted effort to communicate with all my backers directly and will give regular updates via (the kickstarter page/twitter/facebook/your website?)."
As for the game itself, I agree with the kid that the rules read like you are explaining the game to some friends who already have a grasp of how these games work. You use a lot of terms before you have explained them. Even some of the abbreviations left me in the dark, like "M LAU" or terms like chaff and EMP bombs (I don't play military games so I didn't know what they were).
I spotted a couple of errors in the pdf. On page 17 you say M5 is in the left arc of fire but it is on the right side. I saw a typo as well but now I can't remember where it was, haha.
I would like to see more distinctive roles for the dogs. Maybe you could add some other systems, such as a repair module that can heal the dog or one of its nearby squad-mates. How about a self-destruct module for kamikazee attacks or as a last stand for damaged dogs. Would it be possible to make smaller dogs with the same parts, letting you choose between building two or three big dogs or for or five small ones?
Any thoughts on a meta game? Perhaps these skirmishes could be part of a larger war, securing resources and manufacturing plants to produce more dogs, and capturing strategic locations to win the war.
Formerly OBese87.
