Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Author
Message
iac249
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posted: 9th Feb 2004 23:56
Link
12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.

4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!
Back to top
Profile PM Email
John H
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th Oct 2002
Location: Burlington, VT
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 00:10
Link
Well someone has some free time..o_O


We need help! Email us! join@eternaldestinyonline.com
Back to top
Profile PM
Lord Ozzum
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Oct 2003
Location: Beyond the Realms of Death
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 00:13
Link
a lot of free time

Take a look to the sky just before you die

---For Whom The Bell Tolls, Metallica
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Easily Confused
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 22nd Oct 2002
Location: U.K. Earth. (turn right at Venus)
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 00:20
Link
Way too much time.

Shouldn.t no. 6 be:
Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Unless we are chasing hordes of Tribbles with our large fly swatters.

Programming anything is an art, and you can't rush art.
Unless your name is Bob Ross, then you can do it in thirty minutes.
Back to top
Profile PM
Pincho Paxton
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Dec 2002
Location:
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 00:27
Link
My programs do not crash! They Die with honour!

Pincho.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
PiratSS
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Oct 2002
Location:
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 02:09
Link
Woah, that's freaky Pincho, your old sig got eye added to it!

Back to top
Profile PM
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 02:22
Link
toH tlhIngan Hol DajatlhlaH 'e' DaneH'a'?

This is what a Klingon programmer would say to their teacher:-

DuSaQ vumghachwIj Sopta' targhwIj

Cheers

Ps. Obvious joke answer to this thread really

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 02:25
Link
On a similar note; has anyone seen Trekkers (think it was caled that)? Excellent movie about people who, perhaps, take Star Trek just slightly too seriously....

If you thought the film was insulting, or perhaps you were in the film, then please don't kill me. At least I posted the fake language above. Again, I don't like pain 'n stuff.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
QuothTheRaven
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Oct 2002
Location: United States
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 02:38
Link
At least give credit to that unfunny bilge so we don't think you wrote it:
http://www.cjugaustralia.org/pipermail/cjug/2003-February/000064.html

Back to top
Profile PM
iac249
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 03:16
Link
Quote: "At least give credit to that unfunny bilge so we don't think you wrote it:"


I just got it in an email; it didn't have any by-line. I don't have enought free time to write such things myself...

-iac249
Back to top
Profile PM Email
UnderLord
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Aug 2003
Location:
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 05:23
Link
Quote: "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
"


that one was pretty good =)

The search continues.
Back to top
Profile PM
iac249
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 06:00
Link
Hi UnderLord,

Are you from St. Louis? Just saw your avatar...

-iac249
Back to top
Profile PM Email
CloseToPerfect
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Dec 2002
Location: United States
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 08:40
Link
hey Pincho, make you sig a animate gif and blink the eye

RGT may be gone but the best DBP forum is still alive and kicking, check it out.
http://www.dannywartnaby.co.uk/rgt/
Back to top
Profile PM Email
David T
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 27th Aug 2002
Location: England
Posted: 10th Feb 2004 21:39
Link
C++?!? Qua-plagh! (Is that the right spelling?)

"They misunderestimated us" - George Bush
"The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX. "
Formerly David89.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2024-11-24 17:59:17
Your offset time is: 2024-11-24 17:59:17