I know a parrot joke, but it's a bit lame.
A guy sees a parrot outside a petshop and it's talking to people walking buy. So he runs inside the shop, and gives the guy a large sum of money, and walks home happily with his parrot.
The next day he invites people over to see the parrot, and realises that the parrot hasn't spoken since it left the shop. So he's trying to get the parrot to talk in front of all his mates, and the parrot doesn't let out a peep. So he's not happy, and he says to the parrot: "look mate, you start talking or it's the night in the fridge." The parrot looks at him blankly and acts dumb. So the guy sticks the parrot into the fridge, and takes it out in the morning. He says to the parrot "Right, ready to talk? I know you can, you bloody bird, so talk or it's an hour in the freezer." The parrot still looks at him like it's stupid, and the guy, feeling angry, says "it's going to be 2 hours if you don't talk right now!" the parrot, still silent, looks at him and makes a poor imitation of a bird whistle. The angry man shoves the parrot into his freezer for a while. 2 hours later, he pulls the parrot out and looks at it: it's shivering, ad he shoves it back into it's cage. "right you bloody parrot, if you don't talk right now..." but before he can finish the parrot butts in: "OK! Look, i can talk, i can talk! I can even play chess! But before we go any further, can i ask a question please?" The man, bewildered, looks at the parrot and says "What's up?". The parrot looks at the guy and says "What did the Turkey do?"
Bada-boom!
Sorry about that joke, but hey...you gotta laugh sometimes...
-Dave
Your soul...it tastes like chicken
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