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Geek Culture / Good old tech support quips

Author
Message
BatVink
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Apr 2003
Location: Gods own County, UK
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 02:03
I've heard most of them, but I came across a new one today, so here we go...

Customer: My lightbulb is not working.
Support: I have the same model and setup here and it's working fine, you must be using it wrong.

BatVink
http://facepaint.me.uk/catalog/default.php AMD 3000+ Barton, 512Mb Ram, 120 Gig Drive space, GeForce 5200 FX 128 Mb, Asus A7N8X Mobo.
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David T
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 27th Aug 2002
Location: England
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 20:19 Edited at: 30th Apr 2004 20:20
(There's been a failure in the phone system for a whole office. A worker is calling out a phone technician to fix it)

WORKER: Hi, can you fix our phone system?

ENGINEER: Yeah sure. I'll be there between 8am and 3pm

W: Can you give me a smaller margin?

E: I can phone before I arrive, but your system's down. Tell you what, I'll send an email when I'm leaving to let you know.



"To do is to be" - Descartes
"To be is to do" - Voltaire
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra
flibX0r
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th Feb 2003
Location: Western Australia
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 20:29
Theres smoke coming out of my monitor. Does this mean i have a virus?

Izzy545
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Feb 2004
Location:
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 20:59
No, it means you need to tell your computer that your computer room is NON SMOKING!!!!!!!
Andy Igoe
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 6th Oct 2002
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 22:20
I once had a new user telephone me and ask for a new mouse because with the one we supplied with the system she couldn't see the icons underneath it. I was somewhat confused at this, and had to ask a few questions in order to understand her complaint. She asked for a transparent mouse and I explained that Alfa Data made one but that would be an optional purchase and not provided with the PC.

She said that she was clicking icons and the wrong programs where loading, and that she could not see what she was clicking with this mouse.

After some soul searching I eventually realised her problem, she was using the mouse directly on to the screen, rather than using the mouse to move the pointer around. I can sort of see her point, afterall documentation does refer to the pointer as the mouse, none-the-less it did give me somewhat of a chuckle, so I asked her if she'd like to buy the Alfa Data mouse and if so did she want a transparent mouse mat to go with it.

She got the clue, and as far as I know she never called again.


God created the world in 7 days, but we're still waiting for the patch.
Wik
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st May 2003
Location: CT, United States
Posted: 30th Apr 2004 22:56

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