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Geek Culture / I'm dead, it's official

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BatVink
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:28
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I've received a letter expressing heartfelt sympathy for my death...and the death of my wife.

It's from the bank, they are truly sorry to hear I have died.

However, despite the circumstances they have had to inform me that if I don't make alternative arrangements, my house insurance will be cancelled and I will no longer be covered.

I don't know where to start with this one, there are sooooo many quips and sarcastic rhetorts I really don't know where to start!

BatVink
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Dave J
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Location: Secret Military Pub, Down Under
Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:36
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I'd like to know that if you're both dead then who in lords name do they think is reading the letter?


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
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Kentaree
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Location: Clonmel, Ireland
Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:44
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"Dear Bank Manager,
my death grieves me even more than you. Your letter announcing this has shocked m greatly., and I thank you for your heartfelt condolences. However, as I am now dead, I will not be able to arrange the matter of the insurance with you at this time. Please contact a medium for communication in the future"

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Van B
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Location: Sunnyvale
Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:47
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That sucks dude, it's almost like he's still with us huh?

Remember to post and tell us what the afterlife is all about.


Van-B


The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!.
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newbi 2 basic
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:55
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hope the inet connection is good there!

in the afterlife i mean

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spooky
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 15:59
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Don't forget to also tell them to write off your credit card debts (hopefully this runs into many thousands).


Boo!
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Karlos
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 16:04
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Where do I send the flowers?

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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 16:11
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Yes, do make sure that you send them a nice sarcastic reply...


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Ron Erickson
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 16:45
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hmmm...
DO you have any life insurance policies?

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CattleRustler
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 16:52
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Did you and your wife have life insurance?



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Arkheii
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 17:11
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Are you supposed to take the letter seriously? Maybe you can walk into the bank and show them the letter. lol.

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Shadow Robert
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 17:13
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Hmm... i didn't think you were married BV

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Jess T
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 17:14
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And then ask them to touch you, and when they say "no" Just tell them not to worry, because since your dead, their hand will just go straight through you

Jess.


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HZence
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 19:33
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Quote: "Hmm... i didn't think you were married BV"


Well he did just have a kid.


...guess that doesn't mean much though


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Killswitch
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 20:00
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Lol banks send out letters like this all the time. I know someone who was sent a bill for £0.00 and they just forgot about it, eventaully the back sent out a letter saying they would take them to court!

So they just wrote out a check - for nothing - and posted it - for something - to the bank. Stupid.

~I see one problem with your reasoning: The fact is that is a chicken~
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Mattman
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 20:10
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lmao thats funny

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Shadow Robert
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 20:27
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i thought it was Wolf who just had a kid :-\...
that said he doesn't have to be married to have one.

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BatVink
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Posted: 24th Jun 2004 20:43
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When I was with you I was married. I'll have to checkwith the Big Fella to see if marriage is carried through to the afterlife.

I actually rang them, got a quick "huh, sorry", and then he went on to see if he could screw me for more money!

BatVink
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Ian T
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 01:11
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My condolances to your friends and family. Would you mind sending me your computer now that you won't be using it anymore ?

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adr
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 01:17 Edited at: 25th Jun 2004 01:19
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Just phone them up, announce yourself and explain that you are in receipt of a letter. Get them to read out the letter they sent to you over the phone and ask them where they went wrong.

Better yet, stroll your dead ass into the branch itself - "I'd like to take issue with this particular letter..."

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Skier Demon
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 06:06
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Okz,okz... heres wa u do. If yah want to take it serisly, u go up to 'um or call the bank up and tell them u really didnt die. Ask them y they thought that and such. If u dont wana take it seruisly, write a letter to them and put it like this:

From Heaven
To the stupid bank who thought i died...
Hello. I am writing from heaven on acount of im dead. Hows the weather down there? Anywayz, i was jsut wondering... How much money did i have in my bank account? Heres my return address: BatVink@heaven.com ... Anywayz... Im gona haunt you! MUAHAHAHAHAH

Naw... just kidding. YOu should jsut call them up or go there and tell them u didnt die and get everything streightened out.
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CattleRustler
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 06:08
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yeah and don't wait too long to straighten it out!


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HZence
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 06:11
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Quote: "that said he doesn't have to be married to have one."


I know, hence the line

Quote: "...guess that doesn't mean much though "



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Shadow Robert
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 16:21
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I'm wondering, but have you asked them why they believe your dead?

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BatVink
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Posted: 25th Jun 2004 23:49
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Quote: "I'm wondering, but have you asked them why they believe your dead?
"


It goes like this...

1. Get mortgage with bank A
2. Get insurance with same bank A

2 years later...

3. Change current account to bank A. Now current account, mortgae and insurance are with Bank A
4. Bank A can't tell own insurance department not to take direct debit from Bank X, so I do it for them
5. Insurance department try to take DD from Bank X, and can't. Despite the fact that I have my current account, and mortgage for said house that requires insuring, they are unable to put these facts together and jump to one enormously abstract conclusion....I'm dead.

BatVink
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David T
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 00:46
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Quote: "I've received a letter expressing heartfelt sympathy for my death...and the death of my wife.

It's from the bank, they are truly sorry to hear I have died."


That is one of the best first few lines of a post I've ever read.

Two strings walk into a bar. I'll have a pint says the first$%ASLDJ09920D"$"$D. Excuse my friend says the second, he isn't null terminated.
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mm0zct
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 01:37
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i know of a person who got sent a letter for $0.00 and ignored it, when they were threatened with fines they sent a cheque for $0.00.

when the bank tried to process this chequ it crashed their system for hours

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Shadow Robert
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 02:15
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lol, typical bank internals then.

my step-dad got a funny one from the council, first they told him he owe them £35; he said he's paid it and for them to check thier records, they turned around and sent a letter back saying, he was right he owe them £98... so he grumbled and sent off the cheque.
another dept of the council said they'd recieved a cheque from him for £100 but that they actually owed him £50, so they sent a cheque back for £150, then the first depth also said they'd made the same calculation mistake and send him 'another' cheque for £50.

Beaucracy is just stupid sometimes.

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empty
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 02:15
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Quote: "i know of a person who got sent a letter for $0.00 and ignored it, when they were threatened with fines they sent a cheque for $0.00."

Got an invoice for $X. I paid $X. A few weeks later I received a letter saying that I paid $X of $X but there's still $0 left and I should wire that money soon. That's what I did (sort of). After another few weeks they sent me a monition. They still hadn't received the $0 and now I had to pay $0 plus Y% interests that summed up to a total of $0.
I copied all the letters and sent it to them including a list of links to software for invoice processing. Problem solved.

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Dave J
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 04:09
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Quote: "know of a person who got sent a letter for $0.00 and ignored it, when they were threatened with fines they sent a cheque for $0.00."


Hasn't someone posted that on these forums before? Like, just yesterday, although I can't seem to find which thread it was posted in at the moment...


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
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Alkaline
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 06:20
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it was on this same thread

Quote: "Lol banks send out letters like this all the time. I know someone who was sent a bill for £0.00 and they just forgot about it, eventaully the back sent out a letter saying they would take them to court!

So they just wrote out a check - for nothing - and posted it - for something - to the bank. Stupid."


And the other one just a few days later on this same thread

Quote: "i know of a person who got sent a letter for $0.00 and ignored it, when they were threatened with fines they sent a cheque for $0.00.""


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Dave J
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 11:41
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I thought it was in this thread but when I used Ctrl + F I couldn't find it lol, oh well. My point remains though, the stories already been told.


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
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Mentor
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Posted: 26th Jun 2004 12:02
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I think that ones an urban myth (bills for nothing), when the gas company first switched to computer bill processing in the 60/70`s that one was supposed to have happened to a customer who got disconnected for not paying £0 0s 0p (pounds/shillings/pence), then they tried to bill the customer when they had to reconnect em.

Mentor.

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mm0zct
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Posted: 27th Jun 2004 03:37
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@exeat and whatever: you didn't quote my whole post so it does in that look like i said the same thing, i was just saying that not only was there a problem where they asked for nothing, but that trying to process the cheque to pay the nothing they crashed the whole system, which would cost them something.

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Dave J
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Posted: 27th Jun 2004 05:00
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The gist of the story is the same though, a cheque for nothing that someone was forced to pay.


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 27th Jun 2004 05:21
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Dude! The bank thinks you're dead! Imagine what you can do now!
You can even rob the damn bank itself and not get nailed because you're supposed to be dead already.

Like...wow.

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lagmaster
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Posted: 28th Jun 2004 02:43
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it's a common things for banks to inform your other half that your dead.

it's usually when you walk in there with the letter and speak to the person who signed it, then they realise they done a mistake.

you can take advantage of the situation if needed
e.g. upgrade of a feature you like

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