Well, I'm sorry I've disappointed you.
I don't have a standard config for keyboard inputs because keyboard is supposed to be a last resort in case you don't have a couple of gamepads lying around. At least it saves the config eh?
The intro is 18 MB because it was made in Flash and you can't really go much smaller than that without sacrificing a lot of quality.
The game is too large, I agree. I've been working on cutting back size since the release (because just as you hate downloading 30 MB, I hate uploading it, heheh), and I'm getting there. 8 MB have been shaved so far, with the biggest things being the backgrounds, animations (intro, etc.), and the EXE itself (sheesh, 8 MB for an EXE?).
You must have a massive computer to run this game at over 600 FPS...I have a pretty good computer and it runs 200. I will work on slowing it down for faster computers, but I can't really test it until next release.
The CPU is coming later, as for right now the game is not supposed to have a CPU, it's supposed to be a 2-player fun-thing, heheh. This also relates somewhat to the reason this is not in the WIP board. This is the 1.0 version of the 2-player fun-thing, whereas it's the Alpha 3.0 of the overall game.
The overall game will have animated backgrounds (I hope, heheh), multiple characters, AI in story mode (Mortal Kombat-style), more special moves, and a sort of Adventure Mode, ala Super Smash Brothers, where you can play good, old-fashioned Mario, except with super powers, heheh. Once I begin work on the Multiple Characters, I'm going to stop updating this, because at that point I'll essentially be working on another game.
Anyway, I hope that helps ease some of the disappointment, and thanks for your suggestions (especially the high-quality JPG thing...I can't believe I didn't think of that).