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Geek Culture / Teleportation? BIG fat HAIRY deal

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Philip
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 07:30 Edited at: 19th Aug 2004 07:31
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3576594.stm

... but, I ask rhetorically, so what? This is OLD news.

I can't even count the number of times I've managed teleportation without any high technology at all. On many many previous occasions I have gone out for a pint or six with some friends, had a few more, then a couple more for the road, then a curry, and before I knew it, I was instantaneously back at home, the next morning, with what felt like a brass band playing inside my skull.

If they really want to research teleportation, they ought to drink a lot more beer.

Philip

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Ian T
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 07:32 Edited at: 19th Aug 2004 07:38
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Hmm, light... the poor man's teleportation . I'll be intruiged when they manage it without any link at all, and that includes a little light tunnel.

Edit: Plus, somehow photons seem a bit more iffy than physical methods of data transportation to me. I'd like to know the success rates they have now... wonder what they'll be in ten years... still, the speed is nothing to sneeze at.


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eat much pie
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 07:35
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oooh, I'd like one of those quantum computers! Just think of all that processing power [drooling over keyboard]


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IanM
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 08:01
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@Philip,

I have experienced that teleportation effect myself.

Do you get the dizzy feeling that sometimes precedes it too? I also find that all the money I take out with me disappears too ... maybe it's resistant to teleportion

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BatVink
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 08:11
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I don't think you are referring to teleportation, I think it's bilocation. When you find yourself at home, I can guarantee your head is still somewhere else.

Or maybe you are just open to being possesed? Lets face it, you know you ain't gonna pull that chick in the corner - but something inside you is telling you that she loves you. Sometimes, the urge to tell her that she loves you can overpower your real self.

Whatever the theory, I think it's more supernatural than scientific. No theory can explain why I woke up in some woods on my stag night with nothing but 2 unconscious drunken mates and a road sign for company. And despite needing a duvet when sleeping in my house, I wasn't cold for sleeping on mud and twigs and rubble and stuff.

Spooky.

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IanM
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 08:16
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Hmm, and those road signs and traffic cones that appear in your bedroom when you're a student have to come from somewhere ... poltergeist activity maybe?

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Philip
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 08:38
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But, BatVink, I thought you were a northerner? I thought all northerners slept outside on mud and twigs and stuff... er... does this mean you don't all go to work 3 hours before you get up each morning?

All my illusions, shattered.

Philip

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Ian T
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 08:45
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I know how you feel. Handful o' years ago I was told that there weren't any more Death Stars for rebel pilots to destroy. Ripped my heart out ...

Along that vein, I wonder if this research will benefit FTL travel (through dimensional hopping or whatever)? Seems like not to me.


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Rob K
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 09:03
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Quote: " oooh, I'd like one of those quantum computers! Just think of all that processing power [drooling over keyboard]"


Indeed. It might even be able to play Doom 3!


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Ian T
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 09:05
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You mean... Doom 3 with PHOTON POWER!


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Philip
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 09:25
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I've tried Doom3 but I'm not raving about it. Its got remarkable graphics but the gameplay isn't a patch on Doom1 or 2. They seem to have forgotten the original games were light hearted and fun. Doom3 is a quite different beastie.

Philip

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Rob K
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 09:51
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Quote: "I've tried Doom3 but I'm not raving about it. Its got remarkable graphics but the gameplay isn't a patch on Doom1 or 2. They seem to have forgotten the original games were light hearted and fun. Doom3 is a quite different beastie."


Much as it pains me, I'm going to try the demo first.

Serious Sam sounds more like your cup 'o tea - Fighting hundreds of enemies with comically powerful weapons in a frantic firefight until either they or you die. It was really good fun for £20. It brought back fond memories. It doesn't try to scare you like Doom did though.


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Ian T
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 10:20
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Oooh yes, Serious Sam is seriously fun. Especially the second one with its vast (think UT2k4 Onslaught) levels and huge critters. But they were both truly awesome games. Good call !


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GothOtaku
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 12:52
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Indeed, and the Serious Engine is still one of the best for rendering hundreds of enemies at once in wide areas.
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indi
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Posted: 19th Aug 2004 14:50 Edited at: 19th Aug 2004 14:50
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in order to do the teleporting mentioned above from a bar the custom is usually preceeded by twinkling out all your hard spent money in a toilet on a trough. it seems then u can teleport easier since theres less liquid to transport.

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Mentor
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Posted: 21st Aug 2004 03:18
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hmmm! I must have been teleportationaly challenged, I never reached home most times, normaly some ditch or bus-shelter halfway there (or the bedroom of some girl I didn`t know...or at least I never recalled knowing her )

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BatVink
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Posted: 21st Aug 2004 07:48
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Quote: "I thought all northerners slept outside on mud and twigs and stuff"


You don't work for a computer agency do you? The number of agencies that think a contract is in "my part of the world" just because it's north of Watford can be counted on one hand of a Southerner - six.

Another pint? Oh, sorry, you've already had one

Sorry...just a lighthearted retort. I'm sure all of you aren't that bad. Just the half-pint, inbred, soft-talking ones. Oops, there I go again.

Disclaimer: All of the above is complete tosh, and is not necessarily the opinion of the superior dweller of the Northern wastelands who wrote it.

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Philip
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 02:11
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Another of my unique claims to fame is that I am both a northern and a southern bear. I was born in the south, spent most of my life in the north, and now work back down in the south again.

Hence I have the unique distinction of being disliked by both northerners AND southerners.

Philip

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David T
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 02:40 Edited at: 23rd Aug 2004 02:40
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Quote: "I thought all northerners slept outside on mud and twigs and stuff"


We think Southerners either live in Essex or London, can't imagine life outside the London conurbation, talk in post codes ("Hey darling just popping over to SW19") and can't pronounce the sound th.



Quote: "Hence I have the unique distinction of being disliked by both northerners AND southerners."


Now that takes some acheiving.

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Sir Spaghetti Code
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 13:01 Edited at: 23rd Aug 2004 13:02
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Hmmm, don't know much about the UK, but in the movie "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" (a wonderous, funny flick), which is a British film, one of the characters said "I hate these f***ing southern fairies". What is that all about? I mean, I know what calling another man a fairy means, but what is up with the southern thing? I think it took place in London.

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Phaelax
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 15:12
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Quote: "successfully teleported quantum bits, or qubits, between two labs over 2km of coiled cable"


Over a cable? That's transporting, not teleporting.


"Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", great movie.

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BatVink
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 17:29
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Spaghetti, Southern Fairies refers to the inability to consume large amounts of alcohol, and their innermost fear - cold weather. That's why London is so overcrowded, they huddle together to conserver the warmth.

Alternatively, you could equally say that us Northerners are stupid for drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

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Physics coder
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 17:34
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if i had a teleport machine i'd teleport soda and food to the couch. That would be technology at its finest.

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IanM
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Posted: 23rd Aug 2004 22:23
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Ah, I'm back from a weekend of teleporting

Quote: "Alternatively, you could equally say that us Northerners are stupid for drinking copious amounts of alcohol"


... and for walking around in tee-shirts during winter

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David T
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Posted: 24th Aug 2004 06:28
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Quote: "and their innermost fear - cold weather"


Yes. I know somebody who lives in Folkestone and every time she comes up here she htinks its freezing! It was 25, which was one degree hotter tha nthe south at that point!

Quote: "I think it took place in London."


Doesn't everything? Common misconception - life does exist above the watford gap. Hard to believe isn't it?

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Phaelax
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Posted: 24th Aug 2004 09:34
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While we're on the topic of science, OSU (Ohio state university) will shutting down the absolute zero lab after this year.

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HZence
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Posted: 24th Aug 2004 09:50
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What's the 'absolute zero' lab?


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Philip
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Posted: 24th Aug 2004 19:03 Edited at: 24th Aug 2004 19:04
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Well, some people would guess its a lab which is very very cooooold. But I know for a fact this is not correct. Its actually a lab where the sense of humour of wolves is tested. As everyone knows, wolves have absolutely no sense of humour. Hence absolute zero lab.

Also, can I just say that the rumour that bears don't like wolves is totally nonsense. There are many good things about wolves I'm sure and I wouldn't mind having many wolf friends. Except, er, I can't at the moment.

Not that bears don't like wolves you understand. This is just pure coincidence.

Uh... yeah

Philip

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David T
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Posted: 24th Aug 2004 19:18
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I was going to make a joke about a collective's IQ but instead I'm reminded of this quote from School of Rock:

Quote: "Those who can't do, teach.

Those who can't teach, teach gym"


I like it

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