*It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas,
My friends won't let me join in any games,
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree,
Or leave water out for Rudolph 'cos there's something wrong with me,
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ divinity,
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew, on Christmas.
Hanuku is nice, but why is it -
That Santa passes over my house every year?
and instead of eating ham I have to eat Kosher Lock Cheese,
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing Who Hack Do Ga Geesh,
And what the F*ck is up with lighting all these stupid little f*cking candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew, I'd be Merry, But I'm Hebrew, On Christmas*
* If the apocalypse comes, email me