Ok folks, just becuase writing is no good if no one reads it. Here is my offering for your amusement.
A story with a Fairy-Tale Begining.
Chapter 1. The Inevitable
The story you are about to experience is true. At least it really is a story. We begin, as indeed we must, with Prince Charming. Any resemblance to any other Prince Charming is strictly on purpose. Well our dear Prince Charming was out and about seeking his fortune. Which in fairy tale speak means he was on a single minded mission to find a damsel in distress and procede to save her, or at the very least dial 911. But as this story, of course, takes place long long ago (note the double "long") and far far away we cannot be certain that a state funded emergency response system was in place. Thus our sometime hero will be left to fight his own battles.
Now Prince Charming was out and about upon this singular mission, not from some deep welling chivalry, but rather because that is what Princes in story books do. He was not too very eager to place himself, in any but the most oblique fashion, in harms way. It is for this very reason that he had passed up that very morning several oppotunities and several Damsels that were truely in distress. Surely a gentle lad can be excused for not "mixing it up" with a dragon's breathe on such a humid day. The heat could be assumed to be positively unbarable in even the most favorable of circumstances. Nor indeed could we fault a man for passing by the excellent lady locked in yon tower. He was not the best climber and it was a needless risk of ones neck to scale such dizzying heights; besides he knew that the whole tower was placed there simply so the author could use the word "yon" as is mandated in the fairy tale authorship for dummies manual. Poor prince Charming could not possibly have been aware that the author did not consider himself a dummy and had not purchased the manual and that the tower, the damsel, and the distress were all quite real.
Prince Charming continued on his merry way, his spirits and intentions as lofty as ever. He passed through the thick ominous forest, a feat which deserved a few pats on the back he was sure, and came to the neighboring kingdom. The holy grail of a fairy tale prince is to save a princess and not just any old damsel, or any young damsel for that matter. The trouble with saving princesses without leaving your own kingdom was that they were uncomfortably often your own sister and chances were that you put them in their distress in the first place. So it was that this good young man came to the next kingdom over. He was sure to find a princess he knew because in the stories there was always one that was exactly the Prince's own age. Much study also proved that these princesses were without exception available. That is just the way it worked. A prince merely had to set out, save the girl, charm her, marry her, and live happily ever after.
The good prince was quite quickly rewarded. The very next house in the very next glen in that self same woods belonged to the fairy-god mother of fairy-tale fame. Out side this house was the Lovely Princess and she was most assuredly in distress. Our hero did not even flinch as he sped his noble steed toward the very heart of the action. The Lovely Princess was in what must certianly have been a battle to the death with frieghtening persian rug clinging to the cloths line. She beat at it with all her might; dust was flying everywhere. Prince Charming practically lept from his stallion (he was always practical) and drawing his sword advanced upon that dusty carpet. "Stand back my lady!" he cried to the Princess and "Have at you!" to the Persian imposter. The Fight was furious but could see only one end. Our Prince was victorious. The Rug was vanquished; or in lesser language "shredded".
"My Lady.." said Prince Charming as he swept through a bow. "My carpet!" Said the Lovely Princess as she curtsied to examine the tatters. "A name my lady?.. If you please." He asked as he cleaned his spotless blade upon a tuft of grass. "No thank-you, I have one" was her reply. She continued in nearly a whisper as she glanced around "Oh and could you please cease calling me your lady, as I most certianly am not yours, and I don't want the tabloid media to have a field day." "You know how they are..." The good prince nodded knowingly. In truth he did not know and was a triffle confused. But triffles are but triffles and do not bother princes, so the good young man pressed on with phase two of his quest.
"So you have a name?" he asked a bit wiser. "May I have the pleasure of knowing it?" You see that despite some other faults Prince Charming was indeed a charmer. The Lovely Princess was despite her many virtues not the least bit charmed. "I assume you mean the pleasure of obtaining it, rather than knowing it, but such as it is I am Lovely Princess." "Oh but the pleasure has indeed come from the knowing!!" he cried "I am Prince Charming!!". Now the Lovely Princess was after all a true fairy tale princess and realizing the Prince's joy to be genuine, we can forgive her for being quite flattered. Of course as Princess she had been waiting her whole life for this moment to happen, or quite truthfully not to happen, but the moment had arrived and there was only one thing for it. "Why Prince Charming!" she beamed, "I am sure the pleasure is mine." "Could I offer you some tea?" with that she glided into the house. Prince Charmings lips smacked into the faux ginger bread siding where she had stood. Luckily the house's siding had just been redone with lead free paint.
"Tea?" he mumbled. He had been quite sure that the script had called for a kiss. He called his horse over and pulled the script out of his saddle bag. "Hmm.. hm" He muttered scanning the words. Something caught his eye. "No kidding" he exclaimed looking closer at the page. "That tower was real?" Moving onward he found it, there it was, the word "kiss", But there was a line stricken through it and in the princesses flowing hand the word "tea" was inserted. Of course the prince did not yet recognize that flowing hand so in he went to enjoy the green arts of the orient.
"How do you like your tea?" asked the princess, who was up on her tiptoes rummaging through the cupboard. "Pardon?" said the slightly confused prince "I have not had any yet". "I am sorry" appologized the princess peeking anourd the cupboard door, and still upon the tips of her toes, "I meant how would you like your tea?" "Ah" replied the prince, feeling much clarified, "I would like it very much". He smiled to himself for remembering to be so polite. Soon hot water, leaves, and for the Prince's sake several table spoons of sugar found themselves mixed to perfection and poffered in dainty cups upon a dainty plate. And so, a chapter in the life of these two young characters drew to a close (quite literaly) as they shared small talk over a few cups of tea and more than one crumpet. Whether they would share any further pages remains to be seen.
End of Chapter 1
hope it made you smile
Cheers,
Fodder
Something really catchy that makes people stop and think about the meaning of life and say to themselves "My but thats clever"
