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Geek Culture / Positive thinking

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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:41
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Quote: "I was forced to go to a positive thinking seminar. I couldnt stand it. So i went outside to the parking lot and let half the air out of everybody's tires. As they came out i said, "So, are your tires half full or half empty?""


I know i have way to much time on my hands eh?

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:43 Edited at: 8th Mar 2005 08:43
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Is the glass half full or half empty?

If you say the glass is half full, you are a stagnant person; only able to see the things you've already got.

If you say the glass is half empty, you are a constructive person; considering the things you need to improve, as in, filling the glass up!

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:46
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You wanna see drug-related violence ban cigarettes in the United States.

It is now proven beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:48
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Microsoft is one of leading causes of people cursing!

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
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Sol462
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:52
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This looks a lot like the amazing fact thread.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:53 Edited at: 8th Mar 2005 08:54
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Ummmm except smoking is actually meant to relax you. Alcohol can make you aggressive, I doubt smoking can though.

EDIT: Yeah I was thinking it was like that fact thread too


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:53
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hehehe nice

Inside me theres a thin person struggling to get out, but i can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -bob thaves

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 08:57
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On the positive thinking note:

The pessimist said to the optimist "Things can't get any worse!"
The optimist said "Oh yes it can!"

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:02
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My friend thought he was not gonna make it. then he started thinking positive. Now he's positive he's not gonna make it.

you've got to wonder if anyone proofreads those ads on television. Last night i saw this laxative ad where the main selling point was that the stuff works while you sleep.

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Sol462
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:06
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Lmao.
Quote: "The pessimist said to the optimist "Things can't get any worse!"
The optimist said "Oh yes it can!""

Now that is a paradox.

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Neofish
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Location: A swimming pool of coke
Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:09
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Quote: "Is the glass half full or half empty?"

*drinks the coke/vodka in glass*
EMPTY! Get new one!

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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:10
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ahh yes true positive thinking going on in this thread

The death rate is the same everywhere 100% if you wait long enough.

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:14
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A ninety-year-old man went to his doctor and said "doctor, my wife--who is eighteen--is expecting a baby"

the doctor said "let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of his gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. And when a bear suddenly charged at him, he pointed his umbrella at the bear, shot, and killed it on the spot."

"Impossible. Somebody else must have shot that bear."

"exactly my point."

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Neofish
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:16
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Don't see how that's positive though...

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UnderLord
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Posted: 8th Mar 2005 09:20
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i think this one is positive

If you don't see what you want, then you've come to the right place.
-Sign in optometrist's window

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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Peter H
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Posted: 9th Mar 2005 10:15 Edited at: 9th Mar 2005 10:16
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Quote: "Is the glass half full or half empty?"

the creators of the glass made it too big

-Engineer's answer

"We make the worst games in the universe."

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Osiris
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Posted: 9th Mar 2005 10:16
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Or is it not big enough...

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Dave J
Retired Moderator
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Posted: 9th Mar 2005 18:17
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Well, if it wasn't big enough then it would be overflowing.


"Computers are useless, they can only give you answers."
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UnderLord
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Posted: 10th Mar 2005 09:26
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Then it'd be full and thus the question is void. So anyhow lets see if i can find a good quote

Urology : "Urology department. Can you hold please?"

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.


"Let me put it this way according to my girth i should be a 90 foot redwood" -Erma bombeck

yeah it dosnt get much better then this =(

When we talk to god, we're praying. When god talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic beats eating alone.
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