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Geek Culture / TRUE stories about people who are "technologically incompetent"

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Chessplayer
21
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Joined: 22nd Dec 2002
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Posted: 10th May 2003 03:18
Here they are:
A friend of mine works at the help desk of a computer business. He gets many interesting calls. A person called him who had a problem with his computer. My friend ask the caller if his computer was backed up. The callers said, "Yeah, my computer is backed up against the wall"

My Dad, who is a computer consultant, was at a customer site trying to fix a problem. The problem was that floppy disks were being "mysteriously" erased. My Dad troubleshooted the problem as much as he could, but he couldn't seem to find the problem. Finally, My Dad asked the customer where he kept his floppy disks. The customer said, "Oh, we stick them to refrigerator magnets and put them on the refrigerator"

Does any one else have any other real-life experciences like these? Any one want to swap stories?
This is still Chessplaer! I just decided to spell my handle correctly!
Shadow Robert
21
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Joined: 22nd Sep 2002
Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 10th May 2003 04:56
LMFAO!! i like that fridge magnet one
i once left my wife tapping in a report she was doing for college on the computer... was having a snooze in bed when i get woken up.
There's a popup saying something like "the CD you're playing has finished would you like to repeat, please press any key."
so i was like - "oki, so whats the problem?"
she turned to me and said, "i can't find the any key!"
i couldn't help but chuckle at her and pressed the spacebar... i don't think she ever learnt what it really ment, just pressed the spacebar all the time.

i used to have some good ones from when i was a techy but i can't remember then right now

Within the Epic battle of the fates the Shadow and the Angel will meet. With it will harbinger the very fight of good vs evil!
indi
21
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Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Earth, Brisbane, Australia
Posted: 10th May 2003 04:59
mums video was set to the kiddie lock for 1 year until next xmas when i cam home and found it wasnt broken by disengaging the kiddie lock.

my bro thought u could pause and rewind tv when video casettes came out. He didnt realise he was thinking 20 years ahead to tivo.

QuothTheRaven
21
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Joined: 2nd Oct 2002
Location: United States
Posted: 10th May 2003 05:55
I had a terrible story, where I worked long and hard on a movie on my computer, (in a program called 3dmm), and then I needed to make a preview for it, so I cut all of the scenes and went to Save As so the old file would not be overwritten, but my mouse slipped and I clicked the save button (there is no confirm message when you save regularly) And I overwrote my entire movie, about 3 months of work, with no backups or ways to get it back, with a preview of that movie.

it evenentually ended with a miracle that confirmed my belief in god, but that's another story

Darken the skies, we are god
http://www.DelvarWorld.com
Ian T
21
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Joined: 12th Sep 2002
Location: Around
Posted: 10th May 2003 06:38
http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Too much reading there for a whole weekend, so don't even try .

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball
MrTAToad
21
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Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 10th May 2003 15:12
My customers are always having trouble resetting their computer - most of the time they cant find the start button to start with...

Good news everyone! I really am THAT good...
http://www.nickk.nildram.co.uk/ for great plug-ins - oh my, yes!
Danmatsuma
21
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Joined: 2nd Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posted: 10th May 2003 16:04
Some people marvel and think I'm capable of arcane magic whenever I've had occasion to record video without the aid of a television set, these same people are the ones who get up to change the channel on their non-remote tv's, even though they have remote controlled vcrs, hehe.

ZX Spectrum 48k Issue 3, Radio shack Tape drive, Rank arena 12" T.V. set.
Chessplayer
21
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Joined: 22nd Dec 2002
Location:
Posted: 10th May 2003 17:59
Oh, here's another couple of stories I just thought of:
A customer couldn't figure out why she couldn't log in. She call my dad, and my dad figured out that she was very stressed. He figured out that she was slamming the keys with her fists! No wonder she couldn't log in. Oh, she also called my dad at 9 o'clock at night. My dad ended up charging $100 for that phone call since it was so late at night.

My dad got a call from a person that lived quite a long way away. They couldn't seem to log in either. My dad tried to figure out what the problem was, but he finally had to go there. It took him three hours to get there. All of the drive time was billed time. When he got there and found out that the ethernet cable wasn't plugged in to the network card! He plugged it in and it "magically" worked! Basically, my dad had just got paid to plug in a cable!

This is still Chessplaer! I just decided to spell my handle correctly!
Shadow Robert
21
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Joined: 22nd Sep 2002
Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 10th May 2003 21:26
hehee...
i remember one time this girl phoned up and she was like "my computer is making a funny noise!" so i calmed her down a little so i could understand more of what she was saying (anyone notice girls get inaudioably fast when they're emotional) - yeah so she was like, "whenever i stop using my microphone, i start to hear a buzzing noise around the room."
so i was talking her through howto check if everything was oki - and iw as thinking, what would make a buzzing noise when your not using the microphone.
eventually i said "oki, just a question but what kind of mic do you have." and she was like "i have a standing one." i continuted with "so do you do anything with it once you finish using it?"
she said "well it gets in the way of my screen so i put it to the side next to my speakers."

Within the Epic battle of the fates the Shadow and the Angel will meet. With it will harbinger the very fight of good vs evil!
Dazzag
21
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Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 10th May 2003 21:58
Friend of mine worked in a computer shop years ago. A woman phoned up about a computer she bought from them a couple of days before. Basically she would boot up the machine, select what she wanted to do (normally Word), then the machine would die. My friend gave her some sound advise and left it at that.

Next day, same phone call. Same problem. This time my friend went through a time consuming Q+A procedure that ended up with computer just turning off when the app was loaded. Weird. So he tells her to bring the computer in.

Next day she brings the computer into the store and leaves it with them. My friend has a look at it and can't find any problems. It boots up fine and works no problem. No crashes, no reboots, nothing. He tells her to come in and show him what she does.

Next day she turns up, and my friend asks her to show him what she does. She turns on the computer, it boots up, she double-clicks on Word, Word loads fine, she turns off the computer at the mains. Erm why? Because once it was loaded into the screen, she could turn off the computer. Sigh....

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Dazzag
21
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Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 10th May 2003 22:00
Oh, and that reminds me of the HP support email that went around a couple of years ago, with a support person going through all sorts of questions to find the problem with a dead PC, and then it turned out that she couldn't read the manual (he asked he a technical question) because there was currently a powercut in the area. Sigh. He got the sack for his answer to that one too. Can understand after half an hour or so of painfull questions...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
rapscaLLion
21
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Joined: 29th Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posted: 11th May 2003 07:12
Ah good old 3D Movie Maker

Anywho, I had a friend who showed an elderly woman how to use her comp. Soon as he got home she called him, complaining that her coffee holder was broken. She made such a fuss that he decided to go back and have a look at her coffee holder. He was ready to take the poor computer away from her when he found out she had used the CD ROM drive to hold her coffee mug... and consequently broke it

Alex Wanuch
aka rapscaLLion
Kousen Dev Progress >> Currently Working On Editors
Mentor
21
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Joined: 27th Aug 2002
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 11th May 2003 12:59
the best ones come from the beginning of the computer revolution, this one happened to me back when the Amstrad home computer came out, I was known as the local "guy obssesed with computers" for quite a while before the computer revolution got going, I had one of the first ZX80 home build computer kits (sinclairs first proper offering), anyway, one day I was disturbed by a knocking on the door and opened it to find one of our neibours cluttering up the doorstep, he wanted to know if I could help him cos he had just bought a computer and he thought it was broken, but he couldn`t understand the manual and could I check it and show him how to work it if it wasn`t broken, so we walk down to his house and he had a brand new Amstrad with the built in tape deck, plugged into the TV and the basic "ready" prompt and cursor blinking away.
"what`s wrong, seems to be ok" I say
"it won`t play games, I tried but it says theres an bad error" he said
"ok! can you show me what you did" I replied, thinking he maybe made a typo
so he very slowly finds and pounds
"play space invaders" and hit return
quick as a flash the computer replied
"syntax error"
seeing this I was trying not to crack up, and after a few questions I got to understand his problem, he had seen one of the new colour Amstrads on display in the local computer shop, and it had running the demo mode from Galaxians, matey thought it was a dedicated machine just to play Galaxians and had bought one (I don`t know what he thought the keyboard was for..negotiating treaties? ) , and now was frustrated cos it didn`t run the game he had seen in the shop.
so I explained it could run any sort of game and you could even make your own if you wanted, but if he wanted to play galaxians he would need to buy the game tape, but he told me was skint, he spent all his money on the machine and couldnt afford to buy the game, so I offered to take the machine home with me and enter some games from the computer magazines I had lay about the house (back then you had loads of magazines available just about computeing with program listings on every other page...ah! those where the days).
the guy agreed to this and would pick up the computer and some games in a couple of days, so I spent a little while and wrote and saved space invaders, galaxians, a worm game, and something I adapted from my computer called victorian sewers, onto tapes for the guy, took the computer and tapes back to his house and showed him how to get on, and he was well impressed, I was his best mate and all this c**p.
later on the same day an enraged thumping on the door, must be important so I ran downstairs (I was on my computer in the spare room ), and there was matey frothing at the mouth almost, calling me a stupid b*st*rd and getting well steamed, according to him I had broke his new computer and I was gonna pay for a new one, I managed to calm him down some and got him to agree to let me take a look, so back to dumbo`s house we go and he shows me the proof that his computer was broken.
on the screen it said "break in line 340"
I had a realy hard time holding my face straight, I didn`t dare laugh cos mr stoopid was about to bust my head not 5 minutes ago and was still on the edge, so I re-ran the program and showed him how you could break into programs and explained that if a unexpected error came up then it would stop with a message of some sort and all he had to do was type r - u - n - big - key - there, now he was all mr happy again, and just as I was leaveing he said.
"you say sometimes, like, the game, it might stop because of something not thought of when it was made?"
"yeah, thats right" said me (glad to be getting away from mr pillock)
"oh!", he said," so you aren`t that good with computers then? since it stopped like?"
I just said nobodys perfect and went home
just re-telling this has had me laughing like hell, the funny thing was he always went about after that talking like he was some super hacker, he even got put in charge of the computer department when his firm switched to computers for the accounts rofl.

Mentor.

Rob K
Retired Moderator
21
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Joined: 10th Sep 2002
Location: Surrey, United Kingdom
Posted: 11th May 2003 13:15
LMAO

Non-techie people always come in two types, those who say adamantly that they have no idea how to use one, even if they can quite happily manage most day-to-day tasks, and those who pretent they know everything.

Someone in the later catagory tried to get appointed to the IT staff, giving them a very impressive roster of his knowledge. I later discovered that he didn't know how to turn off overtype in Word. Needless to say, he told the IT staff that "something came up" so he couldn't do the job

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