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Geek Culture / Explicit Warning: New Track: DefKon AKA Dj Collateral : Cast In Stone.mp3

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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 10:18 Edited at: 27th Jan 2011 10:21
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Hello all, i took my music to a new level in these past few days and came up with this track. Influenced by my noisy rude neighbor that likes to pick and poke at every button you have...

This is for him.

GENRE: Rap/Hip Hop


WARNING THIS SONG IS EXPLICIT MODS PLEASE DELETE THREAD IF AGAINST THE RULES.

Artist: DefKon AKA Dj Collateral
Track: Cast In Stone
Album: It Is What It Is

Comment And Crit-- This is my first time tryin to rap.
so be easy please. lol


For Those who cannot download and only stream:

Here is the Stream Link

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10200817



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Insanity Complex
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 11:05
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It made my head hurt and I didn't really care for it.

Might appeal to someone though.

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Fallout
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Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 27th Jan 2011 13:41
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The music is really good. Did you write that yourself or is it an ejay type program?

Crits on your rapping ...

Your voice is ok for rapping, but it's underdone. It's an angry track, but you sound like you're just sitting in your bedroom with a microphone, trying to project your voice, but worried your mum might hear you while she cooks dinner. Whatever the reason it's underplayed, I think you need to wait until nobody can hear you. Make sure everyone is out, step back from the mic and give it more rather than talk it through with the odd bit of inflection. You need to convince me.

I didn't like the homophobe dad reference, but I am getting old! I used to love gangster rap but I've grown out of it as I've become senile, so really I can't comment for the masses on what makes good lyrics for this sort of stuff. My only thoughts are, if you want to come across as a bad ass, you'll need to perform it like you're a bad ass, otherwise I won't believe any of it.

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Van B
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 14:10
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I agree with Fallout on this one. To me it sounds a bit like your reciting the rap, rather than performing it, so it doesn't flow exactly right. You need to learn the song 100%, use notes to remind you what the lyric is, but then throw it out like you believe it. I think it could sound great with just a little bit more intensity behind it.

Something important though is the gay reference, you can't really get away with that - and I'm not talking about being politically correct. Gay references in rap just show a lack of imagination - a rapper should never have to resort to telling someone their Dad is gay, that's rediculous, and it comes off as weak. Be more inventive when insulting someones parents - surprise people with more intricate insults.

Health, Ammo, and bacon and eggs!
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xplosys
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 14:59
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I don't care for RAP. I seems lazy and unintuitive, but I know that's just my opinion. RAP and lyrics like that certainly have a place in the world/industry, but this is not that place. I don't understand why you would post about it or link to it in a forum full of minors. Not cool.

Brian.

... and the band played on.
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heyufool1
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 16:05 Edited at: 27th Jan 2011 16:06
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Quote: "I don't understand why you would post about it or link to it in a forum full of minors. Not cool."

There are plenty of adults here and there is a warning, so I think this post is perfectly justified. No worse then any other music thread on here.

As for the song, I agree with most of what was said. I'm not a big rap fanatic myself but I can tell that you weren't really into this song when recording it. Seems like you are doing it just because you have to or something, so try to bring out the emotion in the song. I did enjoy it even with my lack of interest in rap, so you must be doing something right

"So hold your head up high and know, it's not the end of the road"
Impulse Game Engine
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DJ Almix
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Posted: 27th Jan 2011 20:11 Edited at: 27th Jan 2011 20:19
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I like creative rap and old school stuff, but your tracks are just not doing it for me. They start off interesting and new, the drums were really nice, but they you just ruin it and sound realllly realllly lazy, you need some melody to your voice instead of just holding the same style through the whole sound (which is monotone).

The lyrics were really dumb to me, but that is because I don't like songs were the basic topic is "screw you" or "I'm so damn hardcore".

I'm not trying to sounds like an A-hole with my review, but to me there is nothing new or creative in this song (apart from the intro), considering taking you boundaries down genre wise and I want you to explore the following:

- Old School Gangster Rap
- Happy Rap
- How to make a melody/make a song melodic
- Old School scratching (they make good samples)
- Sampling, in this song you could have done fake banging on the walls, or something yelling "turn that down!" or something instead of just your monotone voice, a lot of rap will use certain sounds (reggae air horns, cop alarms, ect.)
-SoundFonts and VST's with imitable instruments (strings, piano, guitar, something to add to you song)

Please don't disregard these, listen to EACH of these songs:

Edo G feat. Masta Ace - Wishing

Asheru - The Boondocks Theme

Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

Macklemore - Irish Celebration

Remember The Name - Live Version

Fort Minor - Where'd You Go

By-the-way, I would love to to a collab with you.

My Channel.


Go on...click the bar to enter a world of awesome.
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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 06:32
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thanks for the comments.. i know its not good at all but hey it was a venting track... i didnt mean for it to be perfect at all.

thanks for the crit guys.


and again. its not my usual thing which is probably why it sucked in the first place.

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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 06:32 Edited at: 28th Jan 2011 06:35
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Quote: "trying to project your voice, but worried your mum might hear you while she cooks dinner"


I Have my own Home.

and i dont really think my mother would care, she has been deceased for the past 6 years.


Yes i wrote those lyrics myself and i had help with the beat from a friend with SINIMA Beats.

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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 06:43
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Quote: "As for the song, I agree with most of what was said. I'm not a big rap fanatic myself but I can tell that you weren't really into this song when recording it. Seems like you are doing it just because you have to or something, so try to bring out the emotion in the song. I did enjoy it even with my lack of interest in rap, so you must be doing something right
"


Thanks bro

Quote: "I don't care for RAP. I seems lazy and unintuitive, but I know that's just my opinion. RAP and lyrics like that certainly have a place in the world/industry, but this is not that place. I don't understand why you would post about it or link to it in a forum full of minors. Not cool.

Brian."


Not to be a smartass but thats why there is a Warning on the thread title.

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Fallout
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 10:19
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Quote: "Not to be a smartass but thats why there is a Warning on the thread title."


I agree. Kids can walk into a record store and see and choose to pick up explicit lyric tracks, so to me it's the same having the option to click or not click a link warning of the same in a forum.

Sorry for the mum reference btw!

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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 10:51 Edited at: 28th Jan 2011 10:52
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Quote: "Sorry for the mum reference btw!"


oh pff no worries man, you didnt know.. and to be honest, she really wasnt much of one. so its all good.


But that is totally true what you just said.

anyone can walk in not just a record store but get on the internet and look at lyrics and other malicious stuff on their own.

@Van B

Thank you for the Criticism, I appreciate it.

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SilverCrow
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 20:14
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Quote: " don't care for RAP. I seems lazy and unintuitive, but I know that's just my opinion. RAP and lyrics like that certainly have a place in the world/industry, but this is not that place. I don't understand why you would post about it or link to it in a forum full of minors. Not cool.
"


Heh, come to my school. Rap on the bus to school, rap on ipods in school, rap on the busride home from school. Then when I'm walking home, I occasionally get the guy blasting his radio while driving by...and its always rap :p

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heyufool1
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 20:21
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Quote: "Heh, come to my school. Rap on the bus to school, rap on ipods in school, rap on the busride home from school. Then when I'm walking home, I occasionally get the guy blasting his radio while driving by...and its always rap :p"

Better than my school, most people are into the justin bieber and lady gaga stuff

"So hold your head up high and know, it's not the end of the road"
Impulse Game Engine
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DJ Almix
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Posted: 28th Jan 2011 21:18 Edited at: 28th Jan 2011 21:18
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OH, oh, but you guys are luckier then me.

I have a younger sister, so I can't go home and be free from it.

I wake up to "SHHHAWWWDYYY, GONNNAA LOVVVEE YA IN DA CLUB GIIIRRRRLLL!"

It's Bruno Mars that, Drake this, and Super sensitive girl singing about how she hates bad guys, but really she never adds a name, so girls can put themselves in her position and think the only good guys are the ones who sing generic phrases such as "girl", "baby" and "shawdy", THAT.

There's is real rap, it's just dead...like disco.


Go on...click the bar to enter a world of awesome.
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CoffeeGrunt
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Posted: 29th Jan 2011 20:13
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Quote: "I wake up to "SHHHAWWWDYYY, GONNNAA LOVVVEE YA IN DA CLUB GIIIRRRRLLL!" "


Oh dear god.

Bruno Mars is releasing increasingly worrying songs, it's like he heard girls like commitment, and went overboard. "You're so beautiful my eyes bleed and I would throw myself in front of a train if you didn't marry me!" Kinda eerie IMO.

I actually like Rick Ross strangely. Bit of a contrast to my other favourites Atreyu and Disturbed.

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Armageddon Games
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Posted: 30th Jan 2011 03:15
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Quote: "There's is real rap, it's just dead...like disco.
"
LOLL!L!!!!!

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