A word to game stories in general:
On this forum I've read 100+ of them. Some where cool, some where interesting, some ridiculous and some just crap.
But thats not important.
The most important thing is, that the game should be able to tell the story - or bluntly said, that the games creator should be a good enough developer to make the game do so.
When I download a new game and start playing it's mostly starting in a room with a weapon and.....well....just moving forward and playing till death or the end screen. I am not coming back to the forums to read the story prior to playing the game and not many other people care to do.
So if you create a story (quality and originality aside) you HAVE to be able to tell it ingame with loading screen, voiceover, intro movie, cutscenes or whatever. If you can't, scrap the story and think of somethin you CAN tell ingame, because this is all that counts.
PS: If you have a really good story but can not translate it to a game, try actually writing it. No sarcasm, writing a 100 page novel is much less effort than creating a 30 minute game and probably sells easier.
In case you find my grammar and spelling weird ---> native German speaker ^^