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Geek Culture / True Russia

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mr Handy
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 16:53

What do you think?
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 18:32
i love this cartoon lol

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 19:02 Edited at: 24th Oct 2012 19:05
Typical family:
- Family, let's eat potatoes with herring and drink vodka!
- Dad, can I go look at Lenin, play the balalaika and wash our bear?
- You can, but before go to turn off the nuclear reactor in the basement! Drink vodka! Oh, and where is your sister?
- Cleans the AK-47.
- Well done! Let's drink vodka!
- Dad, today I wrote "A" essay on the theme "For Lenin I'm ready to rot in the mines!"
- Well done! You can drink vodka in school with your teacher! Wife, where our grandfather?
- It should be in line for coupons to get coupons for more coupons for food!
- Good, let's drink vodka when he come! Now eat, drink vodka and then we go watch the Congress of the CPSU Central Committee!
Norion
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 20:16
Sounds like an awesome place to live.

PC specs: CPU: Intel core i5-2400 3.1 Ghz 6Mb. GPU: Radeon HD 6850 2Gb. RAM: 24 Gb DDR 3. Case: CM Stormtrooper.
Phaelax
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 21:04
what the heck did i just watch?

"You're not going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world!" ~Tick
mr Handy
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Posted: 24th Oct 2012 22:55
@Phaelax your signature...
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 01:58
Quote: "Typical family:
- Family, let's eat potatoes with herring and drink vodka!
- Dad, can I go look at Lenin, play the balalaika and wash our bear?
- You can, but before go to turn off the nuclear reactor in the basement! Drink vodka! Oh, and where is your sister?
- Cleans the AK-47.
- Well done! Let's drink vodka!
- Dad, today I wrote "A" essay on the theme "For Lenin I'm ready to rot in the mines!"
- Well done! You can drink vodka in school with your teacher! Wife, where our grandfather?
- It should be in line for coupons to get coupons for more coupons for food!
- Good, let's drink vodka when he come! Now eat, drink vodka and then we go watch the Congress of the CPSU Central Committee!
"

typical russian family

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
Agent Dink
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 06:54
I think... Maybe you have to be Russian to appreciate this? Funniest part as a non-Russian was the tank ramping part where they claim that "this is true Russia" and also the part with the car burying itself in the snow on the street.
Quik
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 07:45
Agent: I found it funny, but i'm not russian...



Whose eyes are those eyes?
Wolf
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 07:56 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 07:56
Quote: "I think... Maybe you have to be Russian to appreciate this? "


You just need to watch a lot of western movies with russians to appreciate this It pokes fun at stereotypes

mr Handy
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 08:56

How could I forget this?!
DevilLiger
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 12:53 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 12:54
Im not Russian either and even I thought it was funny. I know a lot of this is based on stereotypes.
mr Handy
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 15:16 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 15:17
Russian army:

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mr Handy
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 15:17 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 15:18

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mr Handy
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 15:18 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 15:18

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mr Handy
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Posted: 25th Oct 2012 15:19 Edited at: 25th Oct 2012 15:19

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PAGAN_old
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Posted: 26th Oct 2012 09:30
hey those pics are from Yaplakal.com- my favorite russian imageboard/forum.

but seriosly its just as funny to Russians, infact this cartoon was made by russians. Me and a friend of mine are both russian and some of the quotes from this flash movie became inside jokes for us

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
Agent Dink
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Posted: 26th Oct 2012 18:13
Quote: "Agent: I found it funny, but i'm not russian..."


You also like ponies
Quik
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Posted: 26th Oct 2012 21:20
I find it hard to see how that's relevant.



Whose eyes are those eyes?
Agent Dink
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Posted: 27th Oct 2012 09:58
I'm teasing, goodness!
mr Handy
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Posted: 29th Oct 2012 11:18 Edited at: 29th Oct 2012 11:20
Another "true russia" video. Warning: hardcore!!!

PAGAN_old
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Posted: 31st Oct 2012 11:23
^the video- what Russians think the westerners think russia is like. again, to some extent its all true

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 31st Oct 2012 15:12
Swimming in Russia

PAGAN_old
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Posted: 31st Oct 2012 18:28
Holy crap! this is near where i live! i saw that platform on the bank of the river a few months ago!

now i know how it got there lol!



dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 31st Oct 2012 19:11 Edited at: 31st Oct 2012 19:11
LOL, nice vid: In Russia water tap drinks water from you!!
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 31st Oct 2012 20:28
btw, i remembered something funny about tanks in russia. The thing is there are infact a lot of tanks. While its illegal to have a tank with working weapons armored vehicles are legal to some extent. For example you cal legally own a tank with a welded up canon but you are not allowed to drive it on paved roads. Then again if you live somewhere in the middle of siberia away from any cities there is little chance anyone will stop you from getting a tank if you can. Besides, most of russia is impossible to drive around unless in a tank or some other all terrain vehilce.

Basically there are tons of tanks in russia left over from WW2 as well as a lot of abandoned military bases and graveyards for outdated military equipment. most of WW2 tanks were preserved, welded up and turned into WW2 monuments. So if you have a plasma torch and straight hands, you can climb up on one of these monuments cut open the welded up hatches, fill it up with any kind of combustion fuel and drive off. (maybe you might have to tinker with the engine a bit)
this is an abandoned tank destroyer from 1944 in ukrane (near a school) they got it to work after decades of just standing there.

also this reminds me of a movie that came out a few years ago. Basically they made a sequel to some old soviet movie about a 3 men tank crew during the war. exept in the modern version they are already old guys who got fed up with with the corrupt administration of their town, dug up their stash of guns and ammo from the ww2, luckily their own tank was a monument standing in front of the town hall since they were local war-heroes. The 3 old veterans hijacked the tank and went on a rampage specifically targeting the residences of the heads of their town administration.

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 1st Nov 2012 08:05
Got tank? (c)
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 13th Nov 2012 03:53
more Russia shenanigans


dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 13th Nov 2012 08:03
Nice one!
mr Handy
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Posted: 1st Feb 2013 13:49
Russian Half-life:


*** Merry Chuckmas! ***
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 1st Feb 2013 15:31
loved that short film. Its actually called "the box" or something not HL3 trailer

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 1st Feb 2013 18:49
Russian martial arts...


*** Merry Chuckmas! ***
bitJericho
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Posted: 11th Feb 2013 20:12
it looks surprisingly effective.

Visit my blog http://www.canales.me.
mr Handy
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Posted: 11th Feb 2013 21:40 Edited at: 11th Feb 2013 21:44
Some tricks are just the same as in very old Jackie Chan movies: "punch the sheet" and "punch & kick at the same time". And it is sure effective!

At least this madness works as opposed to "touchless" fighting.

*** Merry Chuckmas! ***
Phaelax
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Posted: 12th Feb 2013 07:10
Quote: ""punch & kick at the same time". And it is sure effective!"

I've always had a natural tendency to knee and punch at the same time in close quarters. Seems to work out for me.


As silly and ridiculous as that russian martial arts looks, I couldn't help but notice a respectable amount of speed in some of those hits.

"You're not going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world!" ~Tick
mr Handy
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Posted: 18th Mar 2013 10:20
Putin: like a boss? no, like a god.

0:32


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mr Handy
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Posted: 30th Mar 2013 16:18 Edited at: 30th Mar 2013 16:22
March, 23 - Kiev. Flat, 7th floor, balcony. Russian spring is so spring.




*** Merry Chuckmas! ***
mr Handy
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Posted: 7th Apr 2013 20:07
In Russia dog brings drunk cat back home.



Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu is a hill
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is a town
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is a lake
mr Handy
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Posted: 8th Apr 2013 02:06
Peek into a russian car.



Russian mail delivery.



Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu is a hill
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is a town
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is a lake
mr Handy
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Posted: 10th Apr 2013 00:04
Russian Hackers cracked Uplay (Ubisoft) and released Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon. What a shame to both sides.

Quote: "A gang of Russian hackers broke into security service digital distribution uPlay, which is owned by Ubisoft. Found vulnerability allows attackers to get free access to games.

Claimed that Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, which is scheduled for release on May 1, is already loaded on the server, Ubisoft, from where it can download all the holders of hacker programs. Proof of this is a half-game movie Blood Dragon, which appeared on YouTube today. He was quickly removed at the request of Ubisoft.

Gameranx also published a screenshot on which the game is on the list of downloaded in uPlay."


«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 10th Apr 2013 06:39
So you guys know about a Russian stereotype that Russian elderly women are extremely stubborn? Well 3 days ago i have met the most outrageously stubborn Russian old lady ever. Because of her i cant pull an internet cable to my client below her (there is an ethernet switch in the attic and the system works by having me pull a dedicated line down the communication shaft to the second floor)

Basically most people these days who live in apartment buildings close off the areas of 2-4-6 apartments from the main staircase and elevator because they use the space to keep their stuff like bikes and other junk. And because most people have these doors I always have to ring their doorbell asking them to let me near the acess to the shaft. And sometimes people refuse because they think the space is theirs and while they cant legally bar me from accessing the shaft many still try.

Old ladies in Russia are especially annoying when it comes to this because many of them are in fact very stubborn. Its a stereotype but its true. I guess it has something to do with the time period they grew up in and hardened by the war as well as common hatred for young capitalist punks/hooligans like me who annoy them constantly with having to the need to access "their" comm shaft to pull internet to some other no-good capitalist pig dog.

Usually if this happens i make a few phone calls to the house representative, or the district engineering services or some other housing department that talks some sense into the stubborn old ladies.

I once pulled 9 floors with each floor having a hall door and almost 100% of the residents were such stubborn Russian grannies. It took me 2 days and cost me and the Housing dept representative of that building lot of nerves as i had to constantly pester her with phone calls so she can once again convince them that i have the authority to access the shafts.

Now looking back at it, those old ladies weren't so tough.

for 3 days now i am trying to get trough to this senile old lady on the apartment i am pulling internet for a client who lives below her. This granny is THE ULTIMATE RUSSIAN STUBBORN OLD WOMAN I HAVE EVER MET!

Pretty much she hates everyone and is bent on making problems for everyone just because she considers herself to be the authority of the 10th section of the building.

I call up the housing department and they try to negotiate with her- no effect. They then start telling me that this old woman is the pain in the butt of the entire district since she is bent on creating problems for others under pretext that she is the only educated correct hardworking war veteran and knows everything best end everyone should listen to what she says because everyone else is a capitalist pig.

OK, i thought i knew how to deal with people like this.
Housing department tries to help me by giving me contacts of all the important influential people in the local district. To my surprise ALL THESE IMPORTANT PEOPLE KNOW HER AND DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH HER! the local engineering head, upon hearing this womans the apartment number (495) suddenly told me that he really doesn't work in that district (i guess wanted an excude to not deal with her) The director of the company who is in charge of the housing department straight out told me that if it was anyone else he would help me.

The Head of the building told me that he feels genuanley sorry for me. And then he told me that Everyone around here knows her and hates her guts because she gets in the way of everything. Neighbors have given up calling the cops on her and the cops given up trying to negotiate and convince this woman of whatever the conflict is about.
SHE HAD MULTIPLE LAWSUITS FILED AGAINST HER! The head of the building straight out told me that him and pretty much everyone who has to constantly deal with her is waiting for her to die. (which wont be soon because looks healthy and energetic)

the client for who i am pulling internet for wanted to call the cops on her as she has no right to bar my access from the shaft.
After i told her what people said about her i think she might actually regret moving into this particular apartment.

Anyway i thought if it went as far as lawsuits, i really have no hope of persuading her. I decided i will use the second comm shaft across the hall from my clients and that old womans apartment then just nail the cable to the wall back to my client.

The funny thing is, thats how all the communication cables below 5th floor (where the stubborn russian woman lives)

This old woman redefined my definition of Stubborn Russian old woman.

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 10th Apr 2013 06:54 Edited at: 10th Apr 2013 06:55
Btw Since this is a thread about Russia, My friend wrote a really cool ambient cyberpunk themed short story which directly relates to my (and his) line of work.

Its written in Russian right now, and he was asking me to translate it into English but so far i didn't think any of my American friends would appreciate it (honestly that is more of an excuse to avoid translating his story because translating from Russian to English is kind of hard).

But now that i think about it, its the type of story i think you guys will appreciate.

I will post it in a separate thread once i am done translating.

And if you doubt my ability to translate to English, you have the right to do so as often i don't care too much about spelling and grammar and want to just get the idea across. This short story my friend wrote is too good for me to neglect English grammar and spelling and according to some people my english is actually better than my Russian.

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 10th Apr 2013 11:41
No comments. I think that is because nobody interested. There is no petroleum in this thread...

«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 12th Apr 2013 21:57 Edited at: 12th Apr 2013 22:11
Check this out: Someone discovered a Soviet Mars probe that landed there some 40 years ago and then broke down. http://rt.com/news/soviet-probe-found-mars-737/

But thats not the best part:

BEST COMMENT EVER!
Quote: ""That looks so Soviet...a bunch of ding dongs, doo-dads, and pricklies bolted onto something.""


[EDIT]
and the above comment is TRUE!






And to this day modern Russia inherited that "Make a think out of a bunch of these things and then weld a bunch of these doo-hickey things on it" style

Introducing Phobos Grunt probe


dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 12th Apr 2013 22:37
Russia is a colony.

«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 12th Apr 2013 22:46
yup

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
CoffeeGrunt
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Posted: 14th Apr 2013 22:01
The cyberpunk book might be cool to read. I loved the book Metro 2033, though I understand it was hampered by a fairly poor translation to English. People tell me it's much better in Russian, though the game was damn good.
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 14th Apr 2013 23:37 Edited at: 15th Apr 2013 02:22
Yeah stuff is always better in original language, I find that books written in English are much better in original english than Russian translation and the other way around.

The more i think about translating my friends story into english the more i am realizing it will not be nearly as good in english as original russian. I was also thinking about trying to Americanize it to make it more appealing to english speaking crowd like you guys, but it also seemes to make some things not as good. and finally i will not even be able to translate some of the words phrases to english like the word "VOLS" which is a russian acronym for "Fiber-Optic Comm-line" and its sounds similar and almost a play on words as the russian word for hair (VOLOS). I cant communicate the entire creativity of The Russian language so it wont be nearly as good in english but I will still try because is my friends birthday and i promised that i would translate it for him so you guy will see it soon

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
mr Handy
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Posted: 15th Apr 2013 08:47 Edited at: 15th Apr 2013 08:53
@CoffeeGrunt

One of the few good modern books to read in russian. We do not have culture. But we have a thousands of "detective" crap and bad comedy movies. Do not watch russian TV. Ever.

«Just because you’re unique, doesn’t mean you’re useful»
PAGAN_old
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Posted: 15th Apr 2013 23:07
There are things worse than Russian TV, One of them is Americanized Russian TV hosted in Brighton Beach NYC.

dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them

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