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Geek Culture / Help with horror game story?

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AJ Schaeffer
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Location: Jacksonville,FL
Posted: 28th Dec 2013 23:37 Edited at: 28th Dec 2013 23:42
Hello!
Me and a friend are working on a horror game in Unity, and we need some feedback and the base of our story before we further develop it.
I'm not good at summarizing stories, so I'll pretty much tell you the gist of what happens:

For his first task, a new cop (the player) is sent off to restore contact with a nearby town. Upon arrival, the town seems abandoned and a fog has begun rolling in. The lack of functional cell towers has made it impossible to contact HQ, and the thick fog on the roads prevents a safe return by car. With nothing else to do, the player investigates.

In the town there are weird humanoid creatures that take people and splice them together with other objects to make horrifying creatures (as in, they weren't made by magic or stuff like that)

The story isn't very original at all, but since this is my first big horror game I'm trying to focus more on the atmosphere and gameplay, but at the same time have a story that makes sense.

Questions players could have, answered:
"Why can't I just drive home?" Fog thick and dangerous.
"Why can't I call the station?" No working celltowers, town seems abandoned.
"Where's my gun?" You're a new recruit, you don't get a gun yet.

The gameplay will be mostly exploration and puzzle solving with absolutely NO JUMP SCARES (They're cheap and kill scariness)
Players will have to figure out how to deal with monsters when the time arises. For example, unlike in games like Dead Space where you always have a gun to kill things with, each new monster brings a new way of dealing with it.

Any feedback is welcome, and here's a screenshot of the test room and a preview of the lighting style.


Thraxas
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 01:19
Quote: " NO JUMP SCARES (They're cheap and kill scariness)"


I disagree, when done properly they can be very scary and not seem cheap. Certainly they work better when the atmosphere has been set well.

AJ Schaeffer
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Location: Jacksonville,FL
Posted: 29th Dec 2013 01:28
Quote: "I disagree, when done properly they can be very scary and not seem cheap. Certainly they work better when the atmosphere has been set well."

I guess what I meant was no cheap jumpscares. (
The jump scare moments I was planning on having in my game are like so:

Ex: Instead of a face popping up on the screen, there would be say, a monster walking around the corner. It's not shocking, but it's scary because while the player might jump like they would if they saw the face, they now have to find a way to deal with the monster.

Mobiius
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 03:01
You copying silent hill??

AJ Schaeffer
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Location: Jacksonville,FL
Posted: 29th Dec 2013 03:11 Edited at: 29th Dec 2013 04:25
Quote: "You copying silent hill??"

It's inspired by silent hill, and I'm trying to make it not so much like Silent Hill.
Maybe a little too inspired.
That's another reason I posted here, to make the story a tad more original.

EDIT:
How about, instead of fog (I didn't really want fog anyways), the player's car breaks down. This could be because since he is a new recruit they sent him off with one of the crappier cop cars.
And what if each entity/monster represents different fears (not each scary thing you encounter is necessarily a monster)

EDIT2:
I also forgot to mention that this game is more sad melancholic than scary.
In other words I want the player to go on a "feels" trip while also being terrified at parts.
It's hard to explain in words.

wattywatts
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 05:30
It sounds more like Resident Evil 4 to me. My advice is to try to deviate from that game as much as you feel comfortable, while still fulfilling your vision. Because it sounds almost exactly like RE4. Maybe a bit like Silent Hill, but I admit I only played the second one all the way through.

New sig coming soon..
Quik
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 05:33
Quote: "The story isn't very original at all, but since this is my first big horror game I'm trying to focus more on the atmosphere and gameplay, but at the same time have a story that makes sense."


IMO a bad choice - since most horror games or movies fall flat on their heads, for not having a intriguing enough story - if the story isn't scary, then how can the game be?



Whose eyes are those eyes?
AJ Schaeffer
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 06:32
Ok, how about this:
You are a photographer.
You hear about some cool ruins of a town in Russia.
You go to the town.
Town isn't in as bad of shape as people said it would be.
Just looks old and abandoned.
You start taking some pictures.
All the pictures are solid black(DSLR must be malfunctioning)
Intrigued, you decide to look around anyways since you drove all the way out there.
The more you explore, the weirder it gets.
(You can't leave for some reason)
It's getting late and you're starting to lose it.
Things aren't as they appear and you start seeing hallucinations(?)
Realtime flashbacks (seen in the areas they occured with ghostly apparitions)
Start going insane.
More stuff happens

Plot twist: You actually lived and died in the town. Those weird visions were memories, and the town seemed normal because that's the way you had remembered it most of your life, before it went to hell. The longer you stayed, the more you remembered. The pictures weren't coming out because the town you remembered wasn't the town that remained, as you cared to much about photographing the downfall of your town rather than actually helping.
It's like a purgatory.


This is all still rough but it's the general idea.

Libervurto
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 10:15
Quote: "In the town there are weird humanoid creatures that take people and splice them together with other objects to make horrifying creatures (as in, they weren't made by magic or stuff like that)"

Why does there have to be a wacky monster? I find it much harder to be scared by films that have "monsters" as the villains, it's much scarier when the villain is a regular person, like in The Shining. With your weird "splicing" monsters it just raises too many questions (like how do you splice an organic being with an inanimate object that has no DNA?)

I really like the idea of the player being a cop and going to this town to restore order, perhaps they suffered a natural disaster like a hurricane. This idea is great because the protagonist is someone who normally has authority and keeps things under control, so blowing that to pieces by throwing them into a situation where they have no control or authority at all is a great set up for horror!

I like what you posted last about the protagonist coming to terms with their own death. Reminded me of this:



Formerly OBese87.
Burger
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Posted: 29th Dec 2013 22:56 Edited at: 29th Dec 2013 22:58
I very much like the photographers story over the cops story. The cops story (as already pointed out) isn't particularly original and the car breaking down feels too cliche.

The photographers story has good potential for horror, and it feels like it would suit, but perhaps better in an indirect way, like psychological horror. Here's a quote from wikipedia that says what I'm thinking:

Quote: "or instance having a protagonist followed by a mysterious stalker on a night street. Thus, elements of psychological horror focus on the interplay inside of the characters' minds."


Perhaps something from the photographers past haunts him, but never actually intervenes? Perhaps something is stalking him around, but representing an emotion like guilt, anxiety or regret? Something which eventually becomes explained in the game and turns around the players view of whatever's been following them.

Just ideas from the top of my head.

- An Instinctive Fear IndieDB page, download the demo today!
AJ Schaeffer
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Location: Jacksonville,FL
Posted: 29th Dec 2013 23:28
Thanks for the input guys! The story has developed quite a bit from it's original state.

And psychological horror sounds much better, as it is harder to deal with in comparison to killing/running from a monster.

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