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Geek Culture / What has happened to Cats these days? *sigh*

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Megaton Cat
21
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 00:43 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2005 00:06
You know how the whole nation's worried about obiesity and lack of exercise for the Youth? (I dunno, something to do with Video Games, I wasn't paying attention) Well now it's happening to house cats. They are geting lazy, bored, and really live for the purpose of bleeding you dry with vet bills, food, and hundreds of consumed hours of your life (Not to mention your SOUL, but I still love them)

Recently we discovered 2 mice living in our storage closet. So we send in the cats. Here's how it went:

Cat #1: We chucked it in and watched from a corner. He was staring around blankly wondering why he was put in here when a mouse crawls up on his back. He starts meowing loudly and franticly running around it circles while trying to beat down the door using brute force. HE DIDN'T EVEN TRY. We finally let him out, to watch him dart up the stairs and under a bed.

Cat#2: This one knew the score. He knew something was up when put him in the closet. The mice at this point grew bored and began chewing on a garbage bag. Cat#2 patiently sat there untill we let him out.

Conclusion: The mice were beaten to death with a empty box of chicken nuggets. The usless cats retreated to my bed. Now what the hell happened? My old cats from a couple of years ago used to hunt and kill birds on the balcony.

If they weren't so furry and adorable my mother would long have chucked em out to the freezing hell we call "The outside world".

-Progress chart
3d engine: 46% physics: 67% AI: 89% Sanity: -51%
Flindiana Jones
20
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Location: Bosnian Power
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 00:53
MY cat is useless too, though not fat. she has a problem with hittting the litter box, so we keep her in a downstairs room. she also is an ungrateful phsyco cat. once, i asked for her to be let out, so we did, and she went and pooped on one of my CDs, and my user manual to my computer. she also encourages petting, then bites or claws you, just as you let your guard down. i hate cats.

"The best part of traveling is meeting new people."
Attributed to Ghenis Khan.
TKF15H
21
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Joined: 20th Jul 2003
Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 01:10
Quote: " i hate cats."


Of course you do. Cats were never meant to be pets. They were originally designed to be hamburger meat, but some rocket scientist thought they were too cute to eat and decided to keep some as pets. Now we have to deal with annoying cat fanboys who are in turn annoyed by the cats they've stubbornly chosen to love. Not to mention cats are extremly unhygenic animals.

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Neofish
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Location: A swimming pool of coke
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 01:21
hear hear TK

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MicroMan
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Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 02:36 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2005 02:37
@Megaton

You've got it the wrong way around. Your cats wanted to make a point. My cat Xerxes goes around and snorts to let me know that he's not satisfied with the level of competence in the domestic staff these days.

Your cats were probably to stunned to react when they found that their servants manhandled them and put them inside a closet.

-----
They SAID that given enough time a million monkeys with typewriters could recreate the collected works of William Shakespeare... Internet sure proved them wrong.
-----
Benjamin
22
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Location: France
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 02:36
Yeah, one of our cats attacks you when you least expect it. A kick up the backside stops that. Come to think of it, they stop moving altogether..


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
TKF15H
21
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Joined: 20th Jul 2003
Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 03:15
Quote: " A kick up the backside stops that."

Finally, someone who knows how to treat a cat properly!

*chews furry hamburger*

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OSX Using Happy Dude
21
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 03:21
The only person/item/thing to blame for a cats hunting skills or lack thereof is the cat's mother - if a queen doesn't want to/cant teach a kitten what to do around mice and other meals on legs, you either have got to teach it yourself or let the cat be laughed at by all other cats in the neighbourhood.

Visit http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~nickk/
Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself.
Neofish
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Location: A swimming pool of coke
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 03:24
Just sell it to KFCat before it's too late...

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Peter H
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 04:41 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2005 04:42
My cat eats birds and mice...

it's fluffy and nice

it's fur gets tangeled with burs

...and it never purrs



(LOL i didn't mean to make it ryme but it did!!!! )

"We make the worst games in the universe."

Benjamin
22
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Location: France
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 06:32
David, shut up.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
Megaton Cat
21
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 06:36 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2005 06:37
Eat vermin instead, David...

Quote: "Not to mention cats are extremly unhygenic animals.
"


Er...it's actually the opposite of that.

Quote: "you either have got to teach it yourself[hunting]"


Er...it isn't possible for a human to teach a kitten how to hunt...
But really this wasen't a case of my cat not doing anything because he didn't think it was worth his time, he was actually afraid of the mouse! Stupid bag of fur.

-Progress chart
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jasuk70
21
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Location: Hemel Hempstead
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 06:52
Got 2 cats, one that trys to kill anything that moves.

The second big fat cat, waits for the other cat to bring in a tasty morcel from outside and then steals it from her using sheer size.

Jas

----
"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not'release' software. It escapes leaving a bloody trail of developers and quality assurance people in its wake!"
Flindiana Jones
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Location: Bosnian Power
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 09:02
LOL!

ermes: "I'e no way to be understanded."

Me: No kidding.
Frozen Flame
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 09:37
My cat would hunt if we had a mouse problem.. but we dont..
To teach a cat to hunt you need a bag of fake fury mice for one.
Then you throw them across the room. only one at a time. My cat pounces on those things till they are dead little plastic mice..
Benjamin
22
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 09:48
OR ... Wait for it... not.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
Lost in Thought
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Location: U.S.A. : Douglas, Georgia
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 11:30
I'll bet the cats are neutered. How would you be acting if you were?

Ian T
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 14:31
You have to let them outside or they won't learn how to hunt. Our cats learned hunting things from stalking pidgeons and squirrels in our very small yard. They regularly bring dead small animals as gifts from all over the neighborhood

It is a perilous occupation for TGC to post anything by way of a promise, as the words get etched in indestructable marble for all time.
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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 16:06
Quote: "Er...it isn't possible for a human to teach a kitten how to hunt..."

Drag a piece of string around. That'll be a start.

Visit http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~nickk/
Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself.
JeBuS
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Location: Undisclosed Location, Dominion of JeBuS
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 17:02 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2005 17:02
Here's my question, instead of sending in the cats to get the mice to leave, why not stop throwing trash in a closet?


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TKF15H
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Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 18:30
Quote: "Quote: "Not to mention cats are extremly unhygenic animals."
Er...it's actually the opposite of that."

Dude, if cats are clean by your standards, then I'd like you to meet a cleaning tool that has appeared with the advances in hygene technology: Soap. You're supposed to shower with it...

And about teaching cats how to hunt... why would anyone do such a thing? It's suicidal! But if you absolutly MUST do it, just get a dagger, some string, a rifle (or a shotgun), box of ammo, water and tie it all onto the back of the cat. Tie them tightly, you wouldn't want him to lose your hunting gear.
Then send him to a dog pound for lesson 1.

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adr
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Location: Job Centre
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 18:58 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2005 18:58
Quote: "Soap. You're supposed to shower with it..."


Uhh... not entirely sure where that came from. He took exception to the statement "..cats are extremely unhygenic...". He didn't say "I like to clean myself like a cat".

My cat used to catch spiders - that ruled. I'm not a fan of spiders, so I'd just plonk him infront of a spider, he'd look at it, hit the spider with his paw and then eat it. *yuk* Disgusting to think about in too much detail ....

He also used to catch birds, mice, frogs and squirrels. Sorry megaton, seems like you got the short straw.


Does this smell like chloroform to you?
TKF15H
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 19:17
"Uhh... not entirely sure where that came from"
from here:
"if cats are clean by your standards..."
I'm just teasing the guy, not really accusing him of licking himself.

I actually had a cat once. He used to go out at night and kill lots of lizards, birds, mice. Then he'd show up in the morning full of blood stains on his fur, and even bits of his tail were missing 'cause he picked a fight with the wrong lizard. Oddly, he was always hungry in the morning, as he would kill just for the fun of it, and come home for breakfast.

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Foxy
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Location: The Dale, South Australia
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 20:28
Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

Cats would have to be one of the cleanest animals on the earth, except for mine, that likes to roll in dirt - when she comes inside she is brown, instead of white. Come to think of it my chicken rolls in dirt aswell, and my dog likes to roll in anything that has died or smells like it has died.

My cat loves to hunt everything - mice, birds, feet, lizards, bits of grass swaying in the wind. Our old cat on the other hand, about as active as a sock - he used to use other cats as pillows, sleep in pot-plants and would often have a bird come down and eat some of his food in the morning, with him.

I love puddy cats - meow meow.

If I were you and you were me, then you'd be yourself 'cos you are me and I am you.
Benjamin
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Location: France
Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 21:51
Our cats um.. hunt. Was funny when mummy cat caught this huge rat-like thing and the smallest cat tried to pick it up, but it was as big as her. Wait, I meant bigger. Crikey it was so big it tried to walk off with the computer.

I remember once finding a cat with a mouse at the bottom of the stairs, so I went to grab the mouse off it and it ran up my sleeve. .... No idiots, the cat didn't run up my sleeve, the mouse did.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
Ian T
22
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 23:24
Quote: "*yuk* Disgusting to think about in too much detail ...."


But probably very nutritious

It is a perilous occupation for TGC to post anything by way of a promise, as the words get etched in indestructable marble for all time.
-Lee Bamber
Benjamin
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2005 23:49
When cats eat mice, they can become ill, or get worms. So, no.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
bitJericho
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Location: United States
Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 00:02
Quote: "dentist bills"


you take your cat to the dentist O_o


Yarr join teh New and Improved LoGD!
Megaton Cat
21
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 00:05 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2005 00:07
Quote: "Dude, if cats are clean by your standards, then I'd like you to meet a cleaning tool that has appeared with the advances in hygene technology: Soap. You're supposed to shower with it..."


Words of someone who clearly doesn't know a thing about cats/cat behaviour.

And seriously people, only a mother cat can teach a kitten how to hunt. Playing with a peice of string as someone said is NOT hunting. The cat has to learn how to kill, thats why the mother cat often brings a dead mouse to her litter so they can practise on it.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 00:27
Female cats are the cleanest pets you can find. Fact.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 00:34
Quote: "The cat has to learn how to kill, thats why the mother cat often brings a dead mouse to her litter so they can practise on it"

Thats right. And if your taking over the queen's role, you would need to find a dead mouse - I'm sure the local pet store would have plenty.
You would also need some birds and other animals too.

Visit http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~nickk/
Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself.
Megaton Cat
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 05:59
Quote: "Thats right. And if your taking over the queen's role, you would need to find a dead mouse - I'm sure the local pet store would have plenty."


Yeah. Asuming you speak cat ofcourse, or have a degree in purring and meowing. Otherwise the kittens is just going to stare at you blankly.

-Progress chart
3d engine: 46% physics: 67% AI: 89% Sanity: -51%
OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:21 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2005 06:21
No, you dont really need to be a Dr Doolittle - just prod and poke with your hands, as a cat would.
Do it enough and the cats should pick up the idea - cats are pretty smart.

Visit http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~nickk/
Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself.
Avan Madisen
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:40
Quote: "They are geting lazy, bored, and really live for the purpose of bleeding you dry with vet bills, food, and hundreds of consumed hours of your life (Not to mention your SOUL, but I still love them)"

What do you mean 'getting' that way? That's cats all round, they're extremely selfish animals and if you don't treat them like royalty they'll sod off to someone who will love them.

Quote: ""Er...it isn't possible for a human to teach a kitten how to hunt..."
Drag a piece of string around. That'll be a start."

Cats are natural hunters, they have the natural instincts to hunt that are bred into them. Of course if you do play with them (piece of string etc.) they'll be better at it since they'll be getting practice, but you can't teach them the basics.

Quote: "cats are pretty smart."

Yeah, Squidgy, a heck of a lot smatter then you give them credit for!

Quote: "Not to mention cats are extremly unhygenic animals.
Er...it's actually the opposite of that.
Dude, if cats are clean by your standards, then I'd like you to meet a cleaning tool that has appeared with the advances in hygene technology: Soap. You're supposed to shower with it.."

Cats are by far one of the cleanest animals in existence, there is no need to wash them because their saliva contains more bacteria then the most powerful cleaning agents you could buy! Ever wonder why cats lick themselves so often? That's why my cats have silky smooth and clean fur when they're cleaning themselves properly. Feral cats, on the other hand, aren't as clean as domestic cats because they're exposed to the elements 24/7! Not once have we had any of our cats cleaned, nor have we ever tried to since it isn't necessary. Simple fact, dogs cannot clean themselves properly, cats do on a daily basis!

Just to point out, I've spent my entire life living cats, within days of being born I brought into a house with a 4 year old cat that was bigger then I was! I think I'd know enough about cats to know what I'm talking about.

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
TKF15H
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Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:41 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2005 06:43
"Words of someone who clearly doesn't know a thing about cats/cat behaviour."

Not really. As I said, I had a cat who spent most of his lifetime covered in blood. And I once had a kitten who was much cleaner, but he didn't like to be in the fishbowl with me.

" nor have we ever tried to since it isn't necessary"
I'd say it's because of the mutilation you'd suffer if you tried.

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Neofish
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:44
TK go on msn u slut


Oh yeah on topic: Cats suck...end of discussion

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TKF15H
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:47
hey!
*drops chlorine into Neofish's bowl*

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Neofish
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:48
*doesn't die*
I'm immune, too many assassination attempts

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ionstream
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:52
My cat killed a rat today.

TKF15H
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:57


The poor little defenceless rodent!! You mean, mean person!
*runs away crying*

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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 06:57
Quote: "Words of someone who clearly doesn't know a thing about cats/cat behaviour."

Was that pointed at me TKF15h? Let me emphasive this fact:

I've spent my entire life living with cats, I think I'd know what real cat behaviour is.

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
Benjamin
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 07:29
No, TKF15H was quoting someone else.


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me
TKF15H
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 07:55
Quote: "I've spent my entire life living with cats"

Ouch. How did you manage?
I was quoting someone else

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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 08:07
Ok, fair enough, accept my appologies on that misunderstanding.

How did I manage living with cats all my life? Simple, my parents already had a cat when I was born, so I grew up with a cat pretty much from birth. When that cat 'departed' about 14-15 years ago, we got another 2 cats several months later, of which we have one remaining.

Plus my mother loves cats through and through, so because of genetics, I've inheritted that same love of felines.

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
TKF15H
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 08:31
Sure, np
I see you were born into the dark side, as your mother loves cats... it's no coincidence you have a sith as an avatar.

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Flindiana Jones
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 09:26
no coincidence at all...

ermes: "I'e no way to be understanded."

Me: No kidding.
OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2005 16:05
Quote: "Yeah, Squidgy, a heck of a lot smatter then you give them credit for!"

On the contrary - nowhere have I down played the intelligence of cats.

Visit http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~nickk/
Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself.
Megaton Cat
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Posted: 25th Feb 2005 05:32
Avan Madisen: Yeah I grew up with cats aswell. My family used to own a farm which was loaded with cats. (They often attacked the chickens)

My mother also used to also love cats but now wants them dead.

-Progress chart
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Avan Madisen
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Posted: 25th Feb 2005 06:50
Quote: "I see you were born into the dark side, as your mother loves cats... it's no coincidence you have a sith as an avatar."

Mt mother's only response to that comment is to laugh.

Quote: "My mother also used to also love cats but now wants them dead."

Damn, what brought that on?

Quote: "On the contrary - nowhere have I down played the intelligence of cats."

Ehem, you claimed that cats need to be taught how to hunt.

I really can't see myself having any pet other then a cat!

I don't suffer from insanity:

I enjoy every minute of it!
Benjamin
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Posted: 25th Feb 2005 07:13
Cats are natural born hunters


"Lets migrate like bricks" - Me

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