well, the new and revised story is a very sad one...
she called around 10:30 on wednsday, and to make a very sad story short, said she wasn't going to go with me and had no interest; her exact words were "remember how we talked about you asking someone else?" and I knew at that moment it was completely over. She 100% uberblew me off, closed the connection. And that really really upset me, because I really liked her, and I knew that the prom was the ONLY way I would get a chance to really get to know her, and maybe take a shot at a relationship. We never see each other any other times. So, to my terrible sadness, she is gone from me forever, I get no more chances.
The next day (thursday), with a little more composure, I asked someone else, far from my first choice but someone who I knew pretty well, and was comfortable around. She was planning on going stag, and was pretty suprised when I asked her, but I got a yes.
Then, Friday morning, she came up to me and admitted that she didn't think she knew me well enough to go with me, and that she wouldn't be entirely herself if we spent 4 hours in close proximity, so she also blew me off. That kind of offened me, because we're the kind of friends that can hit or tease each other out of fun. I thought I knew her...but she just didn't want to make that step...
I also asked girl #1 a second time, and she blew me off again...
at lunch of today (friday) I was actually asked by a girl. She had no date, and didn't really want to go alone, but would if she had to. I hope I don't mess up the description of her, because it's crucial in the story...
This girl is not popular, or pretty. She's not really ugly, but certainly not very attractive, and is known for being a social hermit. I know that she had liked me before, but never talked to me. I had no interest in her, because of her subpar appearance and antisocial actions, and if I put any guy in my school that new her in my position, they would turn her down. I also havent talked to this girl in 4 years, because she rarely talks to guys and hangs around a close clique of females, never quite fitting in.
I, in light of all these facts, turned her down. I really dont want to spend 4 hours with a total stranger, and I really dont want to see what she looks like when she dances. At the moment, I have 2 options. Either I stay home, and don't do anything with the prom at all, or I turn around and change my mind and ask her out. This is NOT a descision of the better choice, its a descision of the lesser of 2 evils. If I stay home in a socially active community, I will probably overthink myself into a depression, and I dont want that. But if I go, I have to make up for 4 years of silence in 4 hours, be around a total stranger, someone who I'm not intersted in at all, and someone who is very socially inactive...
The pro's for goign with her are that she could come out of her shell being around someone she likes, that she could really be a fun but shy person, that I would still be out and about that night, that it'd be better than isolating myself...but, both of my choices (stay home or go with her) are the bottom on my list, and they're tied. What would *you* do, community? Other than cry with waves of anger and sadness...
Darken the skies, we are god
