Corky,
No offense is intended from what I am about to tell you mate.
This looks very disorganized in oh so many ways. I shall start with the lighting.
Other than being over dramatic the light placement is very sloppy at the moment. The color of the lights have me a bit confused as well because they do not make sense.
Try to soften the lights up a bit, you can also shorten the range that they effect. The ambient brightness is way to low (assuming that it is at 0). Even if you have a small night light plugged in to the wall you are still going to be able to see in the dark, pitch black is just that pitch black or the absence of a light source. You clearly have plenty of light sources in the images.
Do not be afraid to use fog as a haze, when you are in a dark room things will appear hazy because the human eye works much like a set of night vision goggles (Using the ambient or remaining light to form a picture of the surrounding areas) this will also help break up some of the hard light lines that you have.
You should stick to a specific light color. By using one color you add unity and will have an even look o the level. when was the last time you saw a green light just chilling in a room like that?
The entity placement is very sloppy, there is no method to the madness. Looks like you just threw stuff in a room hit test game and grabbed a few screenshots from it. I would seriously draw up a detailed level layout and stick to it as much as possible.
That is all I am going to say for now, but overall it's not very impressive but it could be with the right amount of effort..
Cheers,
Dave
