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Geek Culture / I'm nervous!

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large_nostril
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Posted: 22nd Mar 2003 20:58
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"and if you think you can goto something so formal with just a friend and expect to come out just being friends then you are an idiot"
-Why not?

Seriously Quoth, just go with her. It can't be that bad. Just tell her you were in a state of heartship at the time when you said no and that you're deeply sorry for your ill mannered actions. Well, at least it sounds courtious.

If you want fresh underwear in the morning, take it off the night before.
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Kangaroo2
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Posted: 22nd Mar 2003 23:53
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Go with her. She might turn out to be ok, and at least you'll stay in the social circle. Sometimes girls who are shy can come out of themsleves more with some attention or even friends Anyway you said she wasn't ugly, just not massively attractive, so maybe if she made an effort, them was having a good time and being happy she'd get more of a sparkle And even if not, at least you'll have "done a good deed" and made a lonely person happy! Might even make a friend

Coming Soon! Kangaroo2 Studio... wait and quiver with anticipation! lol
samjones@kangaroo2.com - http://www.kangaroo2.com - If the apocalypse comes, email me
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 02:07
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the first girl I know quite well, we were in the same churhc group for 4 years and did a whole lot activites together with a bunch of other people. The weekend before I asked her we went skiing, and we were around each other for a lot of the time.

And the second girl said yes (she told me this) because when I asked her it was so random, she didn't know what to say, and said yes to get more time. Again, a good friend, but she didnt feel she knew me that well.

The third girl was sitting with a group of her friends at lunch, and they were talking to her about how she should ask me, because both of us had no one to go with. Otherwise, she would have kept quiet on her own. So she went up and did, it has nothing to do with how brave I was (she asked ME out), but I promise you, had you been in my situation, you would have done the same thing.

I'm leaning pretty close to turning around and re-asking her out, my descision isnt coming from how courageous I am, (which makes me pretty angry that you took that shallow view on the situation), but if I really want to spend that much time with a not pretty, shy, no visible personality, never talks to guys kind of girl...

Darken the skies, we are god
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large_nostril
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 02:22
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"never talks to guys kind of girl..."
Well, if somethin ever does come of this, you won't have to worry about her sittin on another guys jock. (j/k)

If you want fresh underwear in the morning, take it off the night before.
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 02:24
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ok...well here's the explination...

I know the first girl very well. We have gone to the same church group for the lsat 4 years, and done a whole lot of activites with other people. The weekend before I asked her, we went skiing, and we spent a lot of time with each other. We know each other well. Of course she's beautiful, but she also has a great laugh, a great sense of humor, fun to be around, we are comfortable around each other, she was just the perfect choice!

The second girl, a good friend, I did *not* talk her into not going alone, I simply asked her plain as day, and she said yes. But, givin a day to think about it, she didn't feel right, and that was a respectable descision. I liked her answer a lot more than the first girl's because it was open and honest. We know each other that well.

And, well, you guys just aren't seeing it about the third girl. I mean...well lets take you for example, can you honestly tell me that there is not a single female in your workplace, or school, or life, that you would turn down? You would say yes to everyone who asked you? I had reasons for turning her down, all very acceptable, yet you completley ignore them? This is not a descision based on soley on her looks! Trying to talk to this girl is awkward. She's never had a date, or a boyfriend, or any guys close to her. She's a gender isolationist. And she asked me out of peer pressure, she was with a group of friends who told her to go ask me, cause she had no one to go with. Obviously some of it was her descision, but without her female friend's support, she wouldn't have done it. She's just so shy and outgoing, and has been for so long...I didn't say no out of superficial reasons. I know there are girls like this in your life, that it would just seem so weird to go with them, that you would turn them down. My justifications are not shallow...

Darken the skies, we are god
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 02:27
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and I replied twice (silly me) cause when I posted, it didnt bring me to the second page, so the last post I saw was raven's, so I assumed I didnt post and rewrote the whole thing. damnit!

Darken the skies, we are god
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21
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 02:49
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Quote: "the second girl is your friend, and it sounds ALOT like she accepted cause you probably talked her into not going alone but then she realised it would alter the friendship and all she wants to be if friends ... and if you think you can goto something so formal with just a friend and expect to come out just being friends then you are an idiot "


Very very true, and friend of mine when to prom with a friend and now, nearly one year later, the baby will be due in a couple weeks. Honest to God truth, but I'm sure that doesn't help you make the right choice much.

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of samishi?
Never assume that what you see or feel is real.
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GuySavoie
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 03:23
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I usually don't post long messages here, and you probably don't know me from Adam, but consider these four items, QuothTheRaven:

1) Do the simple math: Do you want to go to the prom, and if so, with a date? If so, you had a slam dunk. You can't assume that asking her again will be a "yes." Still, if your personal requirements are to go with a date, then this is likely your best shot.

2) In theory, as soon as you graduate from school, you will immediately recognize how utterly ridiculous the peer pressures are. You said something along the lines of "any guy in my class who knew her..." Be your own individual, and make your decisions based on what you feel is right, not what you think all the other guys would do. That's peer pressure, even if you can't see it.

3) This moment could haunt you. At my 10 year high school reunion, I was approached by a school friend I hadn't seen, and she asked if she could apologize. I asked, "for what?", and she told me that she still felt bad for not paying me back $5.00 she borrowed. I never remembered such a trivial matter, but it bothered her for months leading up to the reunion. Go figure! Be sure to take steps to "make this right," whatever that means for you in this instance, so it does not become baggage. Will you feel bad seeing her at your reunion, knowing you turned her down for the prom because you were unsure?

4) From the fact that you've struck out twice, I would invite you to consider the possibility that you are not the catch you think you might be... while that might raise your hackles, please accept it in the simple way it is intended. If girls aren't tripping over themselves to ask you out, then it's pretty clear you're not one of the top prizes in your school. You might not view it that way, but the girls seem to view it that way.

As a possible alternative, have you considered actually getting to know this third girl a little better? How about inviting her to some activity one afternoon, so you can get to know each other just a little more? Just make sure it's not her with you and ten of your friends, or the other way round.

Spend some time to get to know her, even if you don't go to the prom. In that way, you can know for sure.

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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 05:23
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now that was some good advice

Darken the skies, we are god
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 05:27
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I sincerely hope you guys didn't just steer me into hell...we'll find out in 3 weeks

Darken the skies, we are god
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Arrow
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Posted: 23rd Mar 2003 08:50
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Oh, suck it up and be a man. I'm sure this won't be the worst experance of your life, so stop acting like you got a life threating illness. Remember it could always get worse, like telling us all about it and we laugh at you.

(hmm, I think I'm inheriting your nasty attitude, lol)

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of samishi?
Never assume that what you see or feel is real.
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DangYankee
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Posted: 29th Mar 2003 08:01 Edited at: 29th Mar 2003 08:06
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well you could get laid , then get aids (or something else), oh this is a support forum -- ok go for it pal...Get a rubber- word to the wise.
PS I don't have aids - I used a rubber. This has been a pubic service message to the teen population. We now return you to your normal broadcast.

It's not the size of your code but how efficiently you use it!
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 7th Apr 2003 06:53
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a teency little update...

how do I put this? I don't really know where to begin. I guess my main message is you were wrong. You were all wrong. You made judgements that did not pertain to the situation. You didn't believe what I said was true. I have learned a very valueable life lesson this weekend, the advice of others can only help your life as well as they know you.

Girl #3, Liz, was not a good choice. She was every bit as bad as I knew she would be, but being inexperienced as I am, I took the forum's advice over my own instincts. As much as I dont want to be insulting to this poor girl: she has no hobbies. none. she doesn't watch TV, or use a computer, or read, or excel in school, or do any afterschool activites, she is the most BORING, DRY person I have ever met. There is nothing you can talk to with her, because she does NOTHING! She doesnt respond in conversations. She turned down social outings. She makes no attempt to talk to me. I try, I really do. I'm nice to her, I sit with her at lunch, I try to bring up something she's interested in, but every time I try to open her up I find I just opened a void. And did I mention she's harsh on the eyes? I didn't want to bring it up before, because that's *not how you judge someone*, but she's flat, 100% colorless, a haunting smile, a rickety laugh, very very bad, wirey, shapeless hair, boney thin (not attractive thin), and no fashion sense.

Why did I listen to you people? I dont want this to be so much complaining as justification, because you really have to see the situation. Liz basically stays home, does nothing, repeat. She's like a broken while loop. Nothing can light her up, she is enthusiastic about NOTHING. And, by the time I discovered this, it was far too late to break it off. So, thank you guys who took the time to bring in random points to the situation and tried to tear me apart. That sure did the trick. What do I have left to do? Ditch her, basically. I dont want her to stop me from having a good time. That's the end really, and the moral is your advice was welcomed, but hellz if it was helpful.

Darken the skies, we are god
http://www.DelvarWorld.com
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DangYankee
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Posted: 7th Apr 2003 08:01
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So she said "no" you sound like a rejected dog. Get over it.

It's not the size of your code but how efficiently you use it!
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 7th Apr 2003 15:30
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...she said yes

Darken the skies, we are god
http://www.DelvarWorld.com
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Posted: 7th Apr 2003 17:00
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She's shy, she probably hasn't had much social contact, let her open up. It's still better than not going right? Worse case senario you could suddenly come down with the flu, start coughing a week before to forshadow it.

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of samishi?
Never assume that what you see or feel is real.
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 7th Apr 2003 22:22
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two replies that just proved my point of how you guys dont understand the situation when you give advice. She's not shy, she's just nothing. There's nothing too be opened up. the prom is this friday...

Darken the skies, we are god
http://www.DelvarWorld.com
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heartbone
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Posted: 8th Apr 2003 00:00
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Quoth, man I've been reading all of this.
Now I feel sorry for your situation.
I guess that you asked #3?

When you look back at it in a few it won't seem as bad as it does right now.
Please make the best of the situation.
Make sure that you smile real nice all night.
Keep your eyes open and look the other ladies directly into their eyes as you smile.
They WILL be watching you.
I can almost guarantee you will make UNEXPECTED contact.
Spring is here my lad.
Dance close with as many as you dare.

The more you see, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you see.
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bitJericho
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Posted: 8th Apr 2003 03:21
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Quote: "She's like a broken while loop"


OMFG I've never laughed harder in my life!!!!!!!!!

Tho she may seem as interesting as a rock, there must be SOMETHING she does...I mean, who can sit staring at a white wall for hours on end...get up, goto class, eat, bathroom, sleep

Here's a list I will compile...now if ABSOLUTELY NOTHING grabs her attention out of this list, or something I have not mentioned...then yes..I will agree with you and say you are going to prom with a rock.

MUSIC - Opera - Musicals(she might be too embarrased to admit that she likes opera..)
MOVIES
ART - Any kind...even if its those nasty oil paintings of stupid ducks
WALKING
RUNNING
BIKING
DRIVING
WRITING - READING(heh, maybe she reads/writes dirty books and wont admit it)

Something from there has to grab her attention!!!!! Anyone else add to the list? Hey, so your prom is ruined...at least let her have a good time...and make all the other chicks there jealous Trust me theyll be like...dude why would HE be with HER?? What's she got that I dont

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Posted: 8th Apr 2003 03:31 Edited at: 8th Apr 2003 03:32
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Quote: "She's not shy, she's just nothing."

Well that's an ego booster, anyway I just had Deja Vu again reading these posts, and I can say without a doubt, go for it, it won't be as bad you think. At dances it's cool to dance with other people besides your date. Look at it this way, it's either this or no Prom. Do you want to be known as the guy who stayed home and played video games on prom night? Trust me on this, Deja Vu has never failed me yet.

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of samishi?
Never assume that what you see or feel is real.
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DangYankee
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Posted: 8th Apr 2003 07:40
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Quote: "...she said yes"

Why even ask for opinions? Just do your thing! your right no one knows your circumstances.
Besides You got your life ahead of you, lots of time to re-coup.

It's not the size of your code but how efficiently you use it!
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QuothTheRaven
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Posted: 13th Apr 2003 02:55
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well...it's all over....God now I'm so sad....

Darken the skies, we are god
http://www.DelvarWorld.com
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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Apr 2003 03:03
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Quote: "well...it's all over....God now I'm so sad...."


you started this thread...u gotta finish it........the question on all of our minds is this: How'd it go?O_o

The 3D Modeler's Group : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/3dModeler/
The Unofficial DB Newsgroup : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DBMag/
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