Hey! I finally got around to watching the first 4 of these, er, in a row. I always hated the power-puff girls and all the other cartoons you guys have referenced, but... I'm afraid you've rolled a 20 CoffeeGrunt, this isn't that bad. Once you get around the extreme cheesyness. It's not my FAVORTIE cartoon but it's actually pretty good. Stuff like twilight sparkle referencing casanova and their adaption of the bunny hill song for the chase scene. Clever. So I might stick around. Though I'm no Quel, my high scepticism stat keeps me sane... well not really but... I like to stare at the ponies
... er, and I actually beleive Wolf's slightly unusual comment is spot on.
Edit: Oh, also, Nice job on your story Coffee. I really liked the defined yet still unexpected path the story took, but I'll also throw in my 2 cents of advise, but mind you, it was fantastic, and I hope you do more.
Anyways I would have liked the descriptive aspects to be a little more defined. More of that "show not tell" stuff they'd also tell us at school. You can tell the reader that they cried or really show the reader they did. It's good to asume the readers aren't completely stupid and can take a clever hint. Well, it doesn't even have to be subtle and probably shouldn't be. You could say something like "as she stared at the erie corpse of her beloved mother she felt something in her eye. The something was wet. It was cold and angry. It screamed. The wet demon crawled down her face leaving a rotting pain in it's wake as it reached for the cold ground. She turned to her sister, and stared into a mirror of herself." Okay so that was a mess but I TRIED to make a point. It was BAD. I didn't read over it. But hopefully you'll understand what I'm saying and I really hope you do more because it was fanstatic!
swis
